What a hard day

This week is exam week . I don't feel in the mood to blogging like i used to be . I been a tough days , is killing me . The weather is so HOT  i can't stand it , the HEAT of the SUN make me HEADACHE and FEVER . Damn for those still open-burning . I hate when people open-burning , they just keep the earth become more hotter than even , such stupid person . Maybe they didn't think about the effect . Noob =.=" . Well my exam was quiet good but i didn't satisfied with my history paper , i didn't aswer all the question and i SCARE i cannot pass the test . Oh God , i SCARE the way teacher scold . Pray for my best . Yesterday , on the evening i walk back to school from my friend house , got a male teacher scolded me about my shirt , maybe he didn't got brain to think that the weather is damn HOT then my uniform is black in colour . He tell me that he want to meet my parents , just because my shirt . So ridiculous .  Well when i get back to home , i told my mom what happen , at first my mom scolded me , i just sit stood didn't say a word until now . I just keep silent all the time . I already say sorry to my mom but she just ignore me . After that on that night i chat with sonsyafeeq but he laugh at me . I hope he give me some word that will bust up my strength but he make my strength going down . I think i make a wrong decision in my life , hard to say . But everything already too late . Just forget about it . It's over . Myself is getting worse , no thing can save me . I just appreciate every moment in my life until that day .

Say What ?

I'm so tired and my whole body is in pain . Stop yelling at me , mom . *sigh . I get it . I know what i should do . Don't keep control me , i can't stand it . Study still be the first in my life , i won't forget that . But i just need some privacy and to release my tension . Let me online for a few days , it will calm my mind . Please . I know i will sit for SPM this year . School ? Got a lot homework to do then go to decorate the class . Damn that class teacher keep force us to decorate the class . Not that we don't want decorate the class , is just we got too much homework , can't teacher understand our situation ? What a life as teenager , every year grow older and older . Life challenge getting harder and harder , when will i get peace ?  I want peaceful . Sickness ? Well no improvement about my sickness , is getting worse . I got one new medicine , because of the new medicine my whole body is in pain , the effect i guess . I just need to keep strong to past trough day by day of my life . Asroy ? Our relationship is going strong and happy all the time . But sometime he like to big joke and that kinda annoy me but i just be patient .  Sonsyafeeq ? Well we just being friend like mother and son , is kind of cute . Can you still call me ' mumysepet ' ? I miss when you call me like that , i like it so much . Akiey ? He just being my lazy brother . He still didn't get his haircut but he says he will get his haircut on March when he go to kk . Last few days , he told me that he has a kind of feeling toward a girl . Haha . My brother is falling in love . =) My BFF ? Is great having them around me and in my life , i'm happy with them . Sorry girls , i didn't have the time to hang out with you all but if i free i will hang out with you all , i promsise . Well that all . Thank for reading my blog .

Take Notice

For this few days or weeks , i will seldom online in blogspot or facebook . 

I'm sorry for the reader because i seldom update my blog .

Hope you all understand .

but

ASAP i will update my blog .

Sincerely by 

bebe

Holiday

Hello , hello , hello . I'm gonna paste a post that is real short .Yes is holiday of CNY and today is valentine days but i'm not celebrating valentine even i have a bf . Yes i can get more bucks yaayaaya , i can buy what i want now . By the way , i will going to sandakan with my cousin . Last night my cousin keep asking me the same question " do you go to sandakan " . *sigh . Then i say yes , is kind of annoying but nevermind lol . Yesterday i cut my hair at salon then went back home my mum cut my hair to repair it . After that i suddenly i get a high fever until night , it's because the effect of the vitamin i ate .

Soon , i guess

 

Never knew i get this kind of things . The effect in my body started to came out , i can feel it and it totally killing me . Damn it , am i going to die soon ? This question keep appear in my mind but i gonna try to think about that and started to think the bright side . Yeah , think of the bright side will calm me down . The result no come out yet . *sigh . Calm down girl , relax , chill out . It's gonna be okay . Well CNY is near , can't wait , eat , eat and eat . Haha , since now i started to eat a lot . Dunno why i be like that but don't worry , my weight not easily gain . But i guess u can't eat a lot , my mom will control my eating habit's . Still got one more things to buy that is skinny pant . That's all . My eyes started to get a eyebags because this lately i didn't sleep well or earlier because wanna finnish my homework . Super duper exhausted , mami when we went to do facial ?  

Cause bebe don't care

]
Hey yay ... Bebe is talking at here or typing  here . Gonna start blogging now so pay attention . CNY is coming now , can't wait to get the bucks . This saturday all of my family part of my dad will gather at my aunt house to have a big dinner , gonna eat delicious food cook by my grandmother . Yummy ! Well about going to sandakan and go to island , is been cancel . So this CNY holiday , i just stay at tawau , felt kinda bored but nevermind i will get more time to finish my school work that given by teacher . Got a lot homework , gonna be patient to do all that . By the way what is love for me , what is the meaning of love ? I don't what is love . Every step i take , every move i make , i lost with no directions . They way to move forward already vanish in my eyes , i can't see the way through other side of the door . I'm stuck right here but keep moving forward but still can't reach the other side of the door . What a suck life , sometime is up sometimes is down . Life is like spinning tire . No one can save me . I still keep taking medicine , i thought start the month of February i will stop taking but unfortunately still keep taking medicine . Suffer , suffer and suffer . 

revenir de bebe !

Hello there ! Today i went to town to get my spectacle and i bought a new handbag , a black one . Hard to find a trendy handbag at here but finally i found one , Thank God . Now i'm feeling glad because i get want i want . My spectacle maybe some people will say like NERD but i didn't care at all because i like to wear a large spectacle , and i dunno why i like . I keep thinking what else that i not yet buy but i think is already enough seem that i spend over budget already my parents just keep talking about my budget and complaint that they not yet buy any shirt or pant for CNY of this year . I just tell them , why didn't go buy some then they say didn't have the time to shop . I'm like OMG ! But mami and papi don't blame on your children lol . *sigh . I miss my babyboo ! I wanna meet him again but i didn't get the chance or didn't have free time to meet him . This CNY maybe me and my family and other family will went to sandakan then go to an island . Hope papi decide to go there , i wanna relax my mind at there . So papi please , make it happen . Well about last night is kinda fun because last night is reunion night of 5 person that is childhood friend . I miss them damn much especially yaquti . I sing two song that is Taylor Swift - Today was a fairytale and Two is better than one . My voice didn't sound that good but they ask me to keep singing . Well thank Q for your support my friend .

Bébé , new name .

 Well . Bebe will be my new name . People start call me ' bebe ' , i guess i started to like people call me like that but don't worry i still use my old nickname . And i got new patner in my life , who will stand beside me and give me love and care . His name is Asroy , he 17 . He not a good looking guy but i didn't care much about the look . I like to see when he wearing a nerd glasses , but don't worry baby we will be a nerd couple . Hee =D . So sweet ! Can't wait to meet you again . Yesterday was akiey ' my brother ' birthday , i didn't get the time to buy him a present but i will and i just wish for him and sing a birthday song for him . Is kind of funny . I just can't stop laughing last night . Haha =D . Well today got school , at 10.30 a.m. till 11.30 a.m. we got to decorate the class unfortunately , many of us didn't bring enough material for the decoration and our class teacher scolded us . What i hate most is teacher ask us to stay back on next monday to decoration .*sigh . 1 week till Chinese New Year can't wait to get more buck . Everything new ! Mami i wanna follow aunt to Sandakan and island . I wanna wanna wanna wanna wannna follow . Please please please . 

Amanda mind says : ???

 

Yay , i'm blur mean ??? . If you still don't get what i mean . Just let it be . Well gonna start my story now . Where should i start ? Let's start about syafeeq , hmm . our relationship didn't work out as what i want , doesn't seem like couple , so ask to end relationship and remain as friend , i think this is the best way . Today , me and my friend went to uncle yahya place to design t-shirt for fiesta at school then i talk a lot with uncle yahya . Uncle yahya body become more tough . Akiey birthday is almost near , i'm on my way to collect bucks to buy him a present . Tonight is start mathematics tuition , well i'm not ready yet and i feel sleepy and my friend didn't show up . i miss her . Then next monday start tuition english with Teacher Ida . I miss her too . Hee =D Now i'm flying solo and maybe didn't have time to search for love or anything about partner love . What i do is focus on my study . That's the important one .

Hell !

Hello .. Mello ! Well been a week didn't blogging because of the worst internet service at home . Suck ! Now the internet is better , glad =) Well first topic is SCHOOL , well got a lot work to do , got a lot of presentation , got a lot of project to do .. Fuyoooo . So tired . Then , as a captain of KP , also got a lot work to deal with . Non stop . . . Second topic is SYAFEEQ , well i get back with syafeeq again . Happy again but hope will never end . IlyMOHDSYAFEEQ . Ever feel apart but our heart is near by . I miss everything about syafeeq . I wanna meet you like our first meet . I miss that day , ever at that day we are as friend . Third topic is TUITION , yeah i'm gonna start tuition tomorrow night , can't wait to meet my two friend , that is fazrina and puteri . Got a lot of story need to tell them , and got a lot story to tell my uncle because he's the one understand me . Fourth topic is CHINESE NEW YEAR , haha , i spend over bucks on clothes , pants , shoes and etc . I'm gonna run out of bucks , mami i need more bucks yaay . I'm gonna change my spectacle , but don't know which kind i want . I found one that is RayBan but too expensive . Well need to find wallet and handbag . Can't wait to shopping again . My schedule is full because of my cousin . sigh* . I'm gonna stop here now . Wanna have my breakie . Bye , readers ! Meet you all on the next story . =)

RollerCoaster

Aaarrrggghhh ..... My stomach got butterfly , haha just kidding =D . Well already few days i didn't update my blog . Because i'm kind of busy this few day , busy for sport day and now sport day already over and got projek for PSK and school fair . Didn't plan yet what to do on that day , but gonna left that for teacher decide . I'm exshausted , i'm in sick . At night got high fever , nose bleed . Yay , is my fault didn't take my medice and the magic is happen in my life . That is syafeeq , his back into my life . I'm super dupper happy now . Actually , i truly miss him since the day he ask for break up , i'm totally miss him . Yeah is true i miss him and i love him so damn much ! Only Allah know my feeling toward to him and how deeply i miss and love him . Darlings , yes i do love you . Don't you ever leave my side , stay beside me . I need you in my life till forever . I can't believe i'm fall in love so deeply , i will never let this feeling go again . I'm hold it tight in my hand and my heart . Syafeeq will do what i do ? Yes , i will hug and kiss you when we meet again , i promise . Keep my promise wokey ? and about the ice cream , later i treat you . Don't worry i never forget my promise . I still young to forget thing . We start all over again . Don't believe what people say about you , me and us . Don't bother them . We will live happily . Trust me .

It's Over

Wokey . Here i go again with a single life mean flying solo . And yes indeed i'm solo again . But i'm gonna live it up and plan what i'm gonna do next . But the chapter about love , maybe will stop it from now . I will close my heart for a while . Last night , me and syafeeq officially already break up and i don't know what is the reason , and i'm sorry if my message is rude . I just feel very fed up .last night . Gonna stop talking about me and syafeeq , is just make me sad . I feel like a doll , easily to been play by people but i'm not , i'm also a human being , i got feeling too . I'm just gonna do what i like , that is hang out with friend and create song like i always do . Oh god , what did i do , until you give me a fate like this , i had enough with all this fake face and fake feeling , first say truly then last say break . what the hell , it drive me crazy . Will you just give me a peace , i wanna rest !

Roll Of Life

Damn it ! Each day getting more busy and more work need to do . I never knew SPM school life was so hard , yes know i'm feeling it and it so horrible . Feel like wanna pass out . Then i got sport training but i wanna quit it because i got kawad to do , wish me luck =) I miss hubby so much ! Darling , are you ok at there ? Every night baby feel like wanna hug hubby but can't , so sad =( . Just can imagine . Baby at here didn't naughty but tired . *sigh . Hubby don't you naughty at there ark . Baby love hubby so much ! ily ...

I❤MOHDSYAFEEQ

Tired . Sick

Hulo ! Well for this few days i didn't update my blog and i'm sorry for those reader for waiting new story in my blog . This few days i'm kind of busy deal with school stuff , you know such as homework and blah blah blah . Yesterday was the first week of curriculum , what a tired day in permainan dalaman , my job is as assistant of leader , in  kadet polis my job is as the leader ( got a lot thing to do and damn for those people voted me ) and lastly in kelab sejarah my job as secretary ( make hand tired of writing ) but nevermind because by do some work , i will get some points . Yeah ! Hubby hp is broken so hard to contact with him , i miss him a lot ! Gonna stop at here now , dunno what to blog about . Goodbye .

Damn It and Love It

Ahhhhhhhhhh ! So tired got a lot of homework , the Geo teacher is crazy , she ask us to do note about form 4 geo but i already done it but she say do it again . wtf ! Tired of sport training , i'm into running . Glad just need to run . hehe =) The sun is extremely hot , just feel like wanna pass out LOL . So the sport day is in the end of month January , can't wait for the sport day . Because this will be the last for me , so i'm gonna enjoy it . Homework , homework , homework just drive me crazy and spin my head around . English , Geo , Malay and etc . What can i say about is , this is spm life . Just be patient . Hate when talk about school , teacher always scold if didn't answer her question , some teacher make us feel sleepy . And the place i sit in class , didn't got fan , so hot and make me sweat . Yahh , the situation in class same as last year , didn't change at all , all living in their own world , got enemies and blah blah blah . Stupid o that person , like hell o . When people didn't do wrong , those people mouth just can't stop talk bad about another person , maybe those people feel their are perfect , wtf ! Totally hate it , just wanna beat them up but just be patient because this year is my big year , don't want get into discipline problem . Well , my class got another new student from kk , wow when she speak english so clear . Gonna stop talking about school .

Hmm . i miss mohd syafeeq . i love mohd syafeeq . Wanna meet u but so far away . When we gonna meet again ?

INEEDMOHDSYAFEEQ

What A Suck

OMG ! School , school , school . *sigh . I'm not ready yet , my shoulder is in pain because so long didn't carry school bag . Today what a day , very tired and glad there is no other person bag is same with mine , that's my me an one & only . yeah ! Peace baby ☮ . But tomorrow will start stay at school till 4 o'clock for sport training , but i in the red team so only stay on Monday and Wednesday . I gonna be into running only but teacher must me sign into other kind . I hate it , my skin gonna be black again but nevermind i can use sunblock . My mom always scold me if my skin become black . Just now at school got my few friend , they all wink their eyebrow . I know want their meaning is , they wanted me to be the captain of the cadet police for curriculum . I'm gonna lost my voice if i be the captain . Yeah , my hp didn't keep by my mom , i guess my mom is forget about it and i don't wanna remind her because i wanna text message with hubby . I miss him a lot ! Feel like wanna cry but he say cannot cry . Buhhhuuuuu .... My dear friend , stop wink at me , you all make me nervous and i forget pay for my name tag for last year . haha ! Lazy go to me the teacher because the teacher teach in the evening and i'm in the morning hard to meet her . Well the teacher will chase me until i pay , no worry . Mom , i need more bucks . Syafeeq , always loving you ! Bye for now = )

I'm his angel

I’m his angel the one who looks over him
I’m his angel the one who cares for him
I’m his angel the one who loves him
I’m his angel the one who has beautiful brown eyes
I’m his angel the one who has beautiful dark brown hair
I’m his angel I will be there when he gets hurt
I’m his angel I will be the one that is always on his mind
I am the angel that keeps him breathing
I am the angel of his dreams
I am the angel that keeps him alive
I am his angel that will cheer him up when he is sad

p/s - for syafeeQ .

Music

Music is what makes you move
Music is what makes you groove
Music can be good or bad depending on how its used
Music can make you choose different clothes to wear
Music can make you change your hair
Music can make you choose new friends
Music can make you want to dance
Music can make you fight
Music can make everything alright
Music can take care of you when your alone
Music can make everything feel like home
Music can harm and take away
Music can make you want to stay
Music is the only friend I have
Music is my mom and dad
Music is what keeps me alive
When I feel like I can't survive

Making A Lover

To the world I want to shout 'I love you'
To love you and have you as my baby boy
Dazzling, you're always my star
I'll protect you
I can always be waiting for you

At the end of my exhausting day there's only one person that can make me laugh
There's only one person brightening my difficult life
At the start of yet another day, I can just think of your pretty smile
I'm not happy with anyone else next to me, but you
Under these Heavens, I promise you, I'll give you everything I have

To the world I want to shout 'I love you'
To love you and have you as my baby boy
Dazzling, you're always my star
I'll protect you
I can always be waiting for you

Why is it now, I feel I have all of the world
thank you my single angel, it feels like I'm loving you for the first time
Under these Heavens, I promise you, I want to be your all

To the world I want to shout 'I love you'
To love you and have you as my baby boy
Dazzling, you're always my star
I'll protect you
I can always be waiting for you

We only need to make one promise
I'm swearing on the Heavens
I'll keep loving you until the very sun burns out
Oh my love~

I pray you allow me this~
That you accept me to be your man
To my final day
My heart will not change
I can always be waiting for you
Hubby I will forever be with you
You alone, I will forever....
love you....

Favorite Star Of Mine .

Far above in that sky,
Is a small star of mine,
Star where life exists,
That star shines brighter then light.

It is the star of fascination for me,
It is the star of my fantasy,
It is the star of my dreams,
It is the star that belongs to me.

A star that is all alone,
A star that is full of love,
A star where I have to reach,
A star of my dreams.

It is the star that lies beyond the sun,
It is the star of ultimate truth,
It is star of love and peace,
It is star where my soul lives.

It is the one to call me,
It is the one to attract me,
It is the one I’ll love to see,
It is the one I have to reach.

O Star !

  o star, how i love you
o star, won't you love me too
o star, you say who am i and i say am i but we both know who we are
o star, just as you know me i know you
o star, won't you shine on me once again
o star, if it weren't for you i would dead
o star, go back to your head
o star, deliver to her my secret message love
o star, fly true and fly fast as a dove
o star, be there with her and tell her i want to be there with her
o star, please deliver this message lest i choke on life
o star, i will now fill
o star, fill you with my secret love message so that i may not kill
o star, kill myself out of agony
o star, please let no one know this message but my sweet
o star, pass on the message to only her lest i die of heat
o star, be true
o star, on your path to deliver my love do not go askew
o star, find the one love find her o star find her and tell
o star, . tell my angel that i lover her 

p/s : star is my thing !

Not Everyone Can Be Famous

Not everyone can be famous though many yearn for fame
In a World where millions do die without a penny to their name
And that any hope of an egalatarian Human World cannot exist cannot be denied
Whilst the gap between the haves and the have nots is growing ever wide
Their dreams of great wealth and fame millions do pursue
But for many of course such dreams never come true
And many who have great dreams die in poverty
For dreams are just dreams that's how it seems to be
Around the World today in every village, city and town
People daydream of great things of wealth and renown
And though to live in poverty only the saintlike would choose
For one for to win many destined to lose
To achieve in a big way seems a human need
And though many strive for success only few do succeed.

At This Age

Feeling safe
give and take
true and fake
first mistakes
distaste, haste
confrontational pace
a race
grand discrace
face to face
stained
claimed
framed
unnamed
and shamed
all page by page
to ingage
all at this age

It Says

I heard my Heart
It says, I am your Will Power.

I see my Eyes
It says, I am your Passion .

I listen my Voice
It says, I am your Confidence .

I read Books
It says, I am your Friend .

I walk on Road
It says, I will Help you to reach your destination .

I see Dreams
It says, I would like to be your Future .

I Am

  I am young and curious.
I wonder if its okay to watch loved ones make mistakes.
I hear gossip and laughter.
I see discrimination and judgments.
I want peace.
I am young and curious.
I pretend inner thoughts disappear over time.
I feel pure happiness coming for me.
I touch my reflection as it looks my way.
I worry about family and friends.
I cry when they're not okay.
I am young and curious.
I understand everything happens for a reason.
I say all is made difficult.
I dream that the clock ticking will freeze as time eliminates an unhappy ending.
I try to be and express my best me.
I hope I'll get where I belong.
I am young and curious.

Just Right

Ahhh ! School is coming in two days . Time past so fast like F1 . I'm half ready back to school but the other half not ready yet . *sigh . I miss my friend and syafeeq . Just can't wait to meet them again and again . Miss you guys . I already buy my school bag , stationery , school uniform , shoes and etc . But feel like there is something not yet buy but what huh ? *thinking . While in the mall , one shirt n one high heel caught my eyes , i just can't stop looking those two things , i wanna buy it but my mom will allow me to buy . So sad =(   but nevermind , i just let it go . Yes , can't wait to get new haircut and hairstyle , i wanna curl my hair and that i always to do to my hair . Thank god , finally my mom allow me to curl my hair . Thank's mom ! I never color my hair that's why is easy for me to curl my hair and it will look more smooth . This year all my school things is BLACK color , like emo or gothic but i'm not . Only got 1 year to go , can't wait to get my freedom . Just now , went to PH to have dinner because dad already promise , so crowded in PH , lots of kid voice . I just wear a simple long sleeves and short pant and wear my cap . Lazy to dress up . Just wanna be simple . After school opening , i will be seldom online in facebook , blog and ym . The reason is busy study and do assignment . Hope reader understand my situation . But i will ASAP update my blog and reply comment in FB and etc . Gonna stop at here now . Good night reader and goodbye =D

Ti amo , I love You !

Yeah is Mohd SyafeeQ the one and only i love most .

He's the guy that i need in my life . Even we couple for a few day , but we become so close every second . Omg ! i love him damn much . He's my sweetest addiction . He always cheer me up like everyday . I can't live without him . He always make me laugh and i laugh so hard but don't laugh about what . LOL . Maybe is me , i'm kilik . Yeap is true . He always reminder me to have breakfast , lunch , dinner and etc .. I just can't stop thinking about him . I will always love you , syafeeq . I will not scandal . Believe me . I will stay by your side till forever . Your name will forever in my heart .

Next to you is where i want to be.
      your love means everything to me.
      to have you close next to me,is everything i could possibly dream.
      if i didn't have you i don't know where i' d be.
      when i look at you i can't help but smile,me with you makes everything worth while.
      your like an angel sent from above.
      i would be lost without your love.
      you caring for me is all i need.
      your love is the blood that i bleed.
      you always know what to say to make everything feel okay.
      i love when you hold me in your arms,it makes me feel protected.   

010110 is Friday Babe !

Woooo ! It's Friday . Gonna hit the town search for new wardrobe . Gonna get new look for this year . This year will be my last of being a teenager . Time past so fast , just can't believe that i'm already grow up . Getting older now . Begin of new love story between me and syafeeq . We get together since 31 December 2009 . Hubby , i love you damn much ! Don't ever leave me . Hope this year will get well together . Maybe some of people say we not suitable together or what but i didn't care at all . What i care is that me and syafeeq will live happily together . If you don't like us , wtf ! 

2010

3,2,1 ! Yippeeeee ! Happy New Year everyone . Byebye 2009 and Say hello to 2010 . Whole new aim in study , aim for the SPM yah . Gonna study hard babe if not the gred will drop and drop . The thing i can't wait is get new wardrobe , move in to new house (oh man ... Gonna tired of tiding up again) , everything is new . Except family , bff , soulmate . Obviously that can't be change no matter what , that always will be same . Once again happy new year . Goodbye reader !

Settle Down

Finally me and syafeeq settle our problem in a good way . And we move our relationship to all new level that is couple . Me and akiey will be brother and sister because we feel like one and didn't have any chemistry to be couple . So we decided to stay as brother and sister , yeah i love my brother so much , he just like someone i know in my past .  Syafeeq , my dear don't be jealous . I love u so much darling ! Glad to have u in my life .

School

School will be opening soon . Love going back to school but hate it because next i will be SPM student and the rule in school is getting more and more  . Gonna study hard for my future and don't want let my parents down . Next year my hp will be put with my mom and i can't use hp until SPM is over so frustrated . What will happen to me without a hp ? Hope i can live it without my hp . Hope next year on chinese new year can go to johor , my uncle JJ place . Got family photoshoot , can't wait . Next year got a lot family event , my cousin will get marry , family reunion and much more . I will get my driving license next year , this make me so excited because when i get my license can go to town by my own . YEAH !  Don't know yet , want to celebrate new year at where and with who . Still thinking . *sigh ... I'm gonna stop at here now . Say goodbye !

Akiey , my bro .

 I call him Akiey . He call me Mimi because he said that his full name is Mohd Tarmimi . We knew each other since 2007 , knew at Friendster then move on to YM . We been friend for a few year . We only meet face to face only once , at that time we went for a movie . He no much talking , he just be quiet all the time . He said he love his voice that why's he be quiet . His favorite song is Bring Me the Horizon - Chelsea Smile . His favorite color is black and white . He's a Smoker but he seldom smoke and i can live with that even i hate smoker . Don't say that he is EMO or INDIE because he say that EMO = NOOB and he didn't like INDIE at all . He not EMO or INDIE but he's METAL . His birthday is on 5 February 1989 . He cheer me up even through he is lazy to typing . He love to play DOTA , i think he's addicted to it . But nevermind as long he didn't forget me . He's a sleepy head . He's become chubby now . OMG ! I wanna pitch him . He said he want to cut his hair but lazy . His reason only got one that is LAZY . My lazy brother .

Frust

Hey blog ! Long time no update , i miss my blog . Already been 5 days didn't update my blog . Now i will update and for the reader i'm sorry for not update my blog for a few day got family events . I'm suffering for these few days because i got a lot of problem , problem with son , problem with my sickness , problem about next year *sigh . . I think a lot at night that's why i can't sleep . Think about myself , son , study and much more .. I can't stop my own brain from thinking , it just keep thinking *sigh . Now the new problem is son didn't reply my message and answer call from me for 4 days include today . I can't think what is son reason for doing that . And what he do is making me suffer and lost my direction . I'm all alone again , no smile when i wake up , no one say good night or sweet dream to me , ask me to eat my medicine , ask about my health and the mostly i miss is no one call me MUMMY SEPET anymore . That make me sad =(  but i must be patient . . Now i and son don't know as what relationship . I totally BLUR . Allah , help me ! When i'm my dad workplace , i eat a lot of durian and i got a high fever but i didn't care much about my fever , just let it be LOL . Then i save some durian because i want to make durian cake . YUMMY ! I'm quite big eater but hard for me to get fat .. hehe ! Dunno why . Kind of freak . But what didn't i care . On Christmas Day , me and my family went to Lahad Datu , my mom buy one short sleeves t-shirt for me , is a Starbucks Tee . I totally love it . Thank Q , mom ! I'm totally lost now , i can't be the person that when son in my daily life . He's the one raise my strength . Now when i need son , he's didn't there for me . My heart is totally broken , i can't fix that anymore . No need for me to fix my heart anymore because i'm already half-dead and i'm dying . I'm so lonely . No one comfort me . Just now on 7.15p.m. i went to watch movie 'AVATAR' with my cousin and that movie is interesting . On monday in the afternoon , son will go back to KK . How i'm gonna contact with son ? Son , please reply my message or answer my call , i begging you =( . I know you read my text message , i can feel that . Just please reply my message , everyday i searching for you . I got something need to say to you . Don't make me like this , i already enough suffer . You knew i was sick and everyday need to eat medicine to stop the pain . So please reply my message .  

Clean

Today i go to clean Uncle Din ( Teacher Samsuddin ) house because he and his wife coming back from Teregganu . He buy for me and my mom three cloth , those pattern of cloth so nice and awsome . Thank Q , uncle ! Can't wait to make baju kurung for next year . What a day *sigh , i'm so tired but i want to sleep but can't . I swept the floor , mop the floor and do laundry . While i swept the floor , on the floor got a lot dead cockroaches ewwww so nasty ... After mop the floor , my mom ask me to do laundry then bask under the very hot sun . After finish bask the laundry , i get some novel from the rack , the novel is quite interesting , the novel is about a girl that have to choose between two guys . I used to be in that situation but already be history LOL . 

The first photo is i'm in the car , on the way to fetch my aunty then went to town get some lunch .

The second picture is after bath , waiting for my mom finnish showered .

By the way , i miss son damn much !

i want to meet you , SON ! When we gonna meet ?

Then soon son will going back to KK .

i gonna miss you everyday !

Remember that my darling !

Don't you be naughty when already at KK .

i love u

Dancing Stars

As into your eyes I longingly gaze,
Like looking into the stars above,
Such dazzling beauty does ever amaze,
The stars, they dance, cause I'm in love.

As onto your sweet lips I gently kiss thee,
Tasting a fruit that seems forbidden,
You unleash bonds that set me free,
Awaken emotions that long were hidden.

And as into your bosom I find rest,
A sanctuary for my tumultuous soul,
I certainly count myself among the blessed,
To have found the one that makes me whole.

And throughout this universe I dare to say,
There is not another that could my heart so sway.

Dedicated For SyafeeQ

I awake each day with a smile
And greet it with a laugh;
The world is a treasure to me
Because of you.

Every time I think of something sad,
I replace the thought- with you!
My mind is instantly changed
And my heart is filled with gladness.

Every breath I take is meant for you,
I live this life surrounded in joy
And I bathe in the promise of your love,
My soul belongs to you.

Each time I see something beautiful
I want to take it and bring it to you;
My life has so much meaning now
All because of you.

Sleep Problem

This few night i can't sleep well . This is all because my sickness . Because of my sickness , all over my body is in totally pain . I just keep punching my chest and hope the pain will stop . But the pain keep coming , i just can't stand it , i feel i just like half-dead . ☠ . Later i blog again about this title . Keep reading my blog yeah .. Hope you like my story in my blog . 

Spread The Love

 Yay .. Spread the love and new picture !

Those picture is today .

The first picture is at my dad workplace behind house .

The second picture is at room , that time i'm getting ready to BBQ , that's night was so fun .

Got new story for my blog again ..

HOORAY FOR ME !

The very first story that i want to blog about is SON .

Finally i found the place for me to share happiness and sadness .

That is with SON .

He's the one that i need in my lifetime . He's the key to my heart .

and

he will be my soul mate till forever if my age is long enough .

Currently i'm listening to Justin Bieber - One Time .

You should listen to that song . His voice so sweet and amazing .

I love that song damn much !

SON is MINE ♥ 

Shine

 AMANDA is a TWINKLING STAR

 ★ i love star ★

The End and Come Back

END OF AMANDA OLD LIFESTYLE

and

COME BACK OF AMANDA NEW LIFESTYLE

TrueLove

Hah ?? What truelove mean ??? true love is permanent love . permanent love mean love till forever . For me true love is a wonderful thing , in my old life i feel true love for 426 days then things started not working good somethings make the true love end . Then i suffer for 1 month cry and cry and i'm totally shocked and i feel my heart is gone no inside my body . I'm totally lost and break like a wave . At that time i thought my heart will never heal again but after few month , i bump up with a person in FB .  Then we started to chat suddenly i feel happy again . I feel happy with him , easily to talk with him , no control when taking to him , laugh hardly and much more .. For a long time i never feel like that after that stupid day . I feel so alive again . He totally save my heart from broken forever . Because of him i can heal back my heart , he's the one open my eyes , open my mind , open my heart and make me realize that no use for me keep suffer for that stupid guy . I break up with my BF , because he never call or text me a message and only hope that me will call or message him . Is suck ! By the way i already delete my FS account forever and i will only use FB . I already found my happiness back , my happiness with SON .

p/s : Son , i love you !

Day

Each day , i count the day is become less and less . I scare of that day will come to me . Every i wake up , i think if i'm still alive or not , is kind of freak right ?? hehe .. but i'm like that . Dunno why .. Every night i think and think about my life and my worst nightmare that started from when i'm still a child . That nightmare won't leave my mind ... HELP !!!!!

Gonna Again

OMG ! I'm gonna miss my childhood friend , my bestie , my bf , son . Because tomorrow i go to my dad workplace again and sleep at there for a few day . Gonna bored again .. huhu =( ...That thing hunt my mind again , the same nightmare i get last night , i keep screaming and cry a lot because i scare of that thing and no one at that time to hug me and calm me down . I'm just a girl with a lost hope . Don't know la what people think about me . For me i'm a FREAK GIRL . I started to find new thing to fulfill my empty mind . My family , my bestie , my study , my bf and son already set in my mind . Son always cheer me up and make me laugh . He just like someone that i know long ago . Son attitude same as that someone . The way son talk to me , laugh , look at me is all same with that someone . But that someone already not exist in this world . So sad but now i got Son beside me all the time even we are far away but heart is near . Am i right ? 

Roses Number Meaning

1 Rose
Exceptional love all concentrated on you.

2 Roses
Two of us deeply in love.

3 Roses
I love you.

6 Roses
I want to be yours.

9 Roses
Love each other eternally.

11 Roses
You are the one I love most in my life.

12 Roses
Satisfactory union and mutual affinity.

13 Roses
Secret admirer.

24 Roses
Remember fondly every moment
(24 hours cannot forget you).

33 Roses
Saying “I love you” with PROFOUND LOVE.

36 Roses
Feeling romantic attachment because you come to me.

44 Roses
Constant unchangeable pledge.

50 Roses
This is “Regretless Love”.

56 Roses
My love.

66 Roses
Successful love affair.

99 Roses
Love with understanding makes love eternal.

100 Roses
Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple ’till ripe-old age.

101 Roses
No other love but you.

108 Roses
Please marry me!

111 Roses
Eternal love.

123 Roses
Free love.

144 Roses
Loving you day and night eternally.

365 Roses
Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday.

999 Roses
Everlasting and eternal love.

1001 Roses
Faithful love, ’till forever

White Rose

Primary Significance: Purity, Innocence, Sympathy, Spirituality

With its pristine appearance, the white rose has come to symbolize purity, innocence and secrecy. There are myths and legends from several different cultures relating to the origin of the first rose which is initially white in color and is then miraculously transformed. Oftentimes the pure white rose was depicted as being stained by blood, or made to blush from a kiss. The recurrence of this theme does a great deal to establish the white rose as a symbol for purity.

Early traditions also used white roses as a symbol for true love, an association which would later become the hallmark of the red rose. However, white roses continue to endure and retain their symbolism of innocence. White roses are now used to express a number of different sentiments.

Also known as the bridal rose, the white rose is a traditional wedding flower. In this sense, they are a representation of unity, virtue, and the pureness of a new bond of love. White roses are also a symbol for young love, which further strengthens the association, and makes them ideal for marriages. Bridal bouquets are often comprised of white roses and other white flowers.

White roses are also associated with honor and reverence, which makes them a fitting memorial for a departed loved one. Funeral and sympathy arrangements traditionally incorporate white roses as a part of the tribute. As a symbol of remembrance, the white rose represents heavenliness and is an expression of spiritual love and respect.

While most of the long-established meanings of white roses are still quite commonly used today, others have become less prevalent. White rosebuds, for example, are a traditional symbol for girlhood and carry an underlying message of one too young for love. While perhaps no longer falling into the realm of common knowledge, this is still very much a part of the language of roses.

White roses can mean many things to many different people. They can symbolize new beginnings, or be a sign of farewell. They can convey feelings of love, friendship, respect and hope. Underlying all of these messages is the impression of innocence and purity with which white roses are now synonymous. An arrangement of white roses is not only beautiful; it can carry a complexity that belies its simpler appearance. Whatever the reason white roses are given, it can be assured that they will be deeply appreciated by their recipient.

p/s : i love white rose so much ! i like go to the florist shop to find white rose . Don't know why , i just love to see white rose .

Hang Out and Chill Out

Hmmm .. got new story for my diary blog . Title is i hang out with my bestie ' JIEJIE ' and SON . It was the first time i meet face to face with Son , my stomach full of butterfly . So nervous . While waiting for Son to come me and my bestie went to KFC to have Cheesy Wedges . But after meet Son the butterfly already fly away , and start to talk like i use to be , no control just be myself . It was fun talking with Son , only laugh all the way . I like it . Son face so cute feel like just wanted to pitch his cheek but i scare .. I scare Son will mad at me if i pitch his cheek . We all three went to see movie ' TWILIGHT NEW MOON ' But that movie kind of boring but the wolf is so CUTE ! If i have a pet like that , it will be great . Before the arrive the show time movie , we went to E.P and walk and walk . On 2p.m. we back to cinema . On 4p.m we went to bakery shop , because i'm hungry then the pain in my chest is killing me . By the way , Son thank Q for the present that give to me , i love it so much .

My Mind

4 Days I didn't update my blog ... fuuuhhhh .. Actually me and my family went to my dad workplace and stay there for a few day . So bored , i just eat , drink , play PS2 , watch tv , listen to music , sit under tree , play text message and play with my cat . Everyday i do the same thing . When sun get down and moon come up , i can't sleep at all , sometimes i just sleep for 4 hour because i suffer for my sickness and painfulness . Then talk about my thinking , at night i think so much stuff . Sometimes think until tears come up , got VIRUS in my mind ... OHHH NO !!!! I think about my feeling , sickness and much more . Now i don't what i feel and what inside my heart , my feeling already messed up and that hurting me and drive me crazy and feel wanted to eat SLEEPING PILLS but i don't want to broke my promise then i decide don't take SLEEPING PILLS . I just punch my chest over and over again , i know that is pain but that the way to make me fell good . Why i should get a life like this ?? Sometimes i feel can't live it up and just wanted to give up . HELP ME ! I can't be myself like use to be .

This Sayings So Cute . What You Think ?

Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.

To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Life is like a dream and in the end, when you die, you pinch yourself and wake up and never dream again.

Love those who love you forget those who forget you.

To know me is to understand me, and to understand me is to love me.

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…..think of yourself as a beautiful monkey .

The worst person in this world is he who does not know who is GOD .

The only thing worse than getting your heart broken is breaking it yourself .

When all you think about is your one and only, you’ve found your only one

No ones afraid of heights, they are afaid of falling, no ones afraid of swimming they are afraid of drowning and no ones afraid of loving they are afraid of not being loved back.

No matter what they take from me they cant take my dignity.

Love is like a flower, if you dont know how to take care it will die.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched , they must be felt with the heart.

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the water washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.

Sayonara

YES !!! Hasta La Vista , my old life ! Now i build up a new life and tear down the old life . Finally , i can forget Mr.Panda but Son say that damn guy . hahaha ! The last thing to do is to burn mr.panda letter and picture . I can't wait to do that . I'm so happy !! After all this day , i waste my tear for Mr.panda . I learn that no use to cry because mr.panda will not come back and yet i don't need mr.panda anymore . Mr.panda betrayed my love and i hate it so much ! F**K MR.PANDA !

p/s : GET OUT OF MY MIND AND MY HEAD !

Sickness

Thank God ! Finally , i'm out of the hospital , hate the smell of the medicine , only make my head dizzy-wuzzy . Let me blogging about what happen to me , actually my sickness come back again . one night , my head suddenly become so hot and a strong pain than i never felt before . It was hurting me , i suffer badly . After few minute i can't wake up on my own , my body become so heavy then i pass out . My childhood friend sent me to the hospital , at the hospital my heart beat started to stop and i can't breath by myself . That what my childhood friend told me . But thank to god , i can breath by myself again and my heart beat start beating . Glad =) When Son know about that he started to panic and worry . hehe . Then my childhood friend start to scare him that he will lost me . hehe . Is kind funny =D . By the way , Son , i already know about your text message . hehe . Just chill Son . Don't worry . I know how you feel because you tell me . and I appreciate your kindness and your feeling . Glad that you beside me and give me advice . My gastric become worst , i scare something bad will happen to me that will make my life short . From now on , i want to enjoy every moment in my life , never gonna missed it . 

Every Part of Me

I feel like I'm a million miles away
From myself, more and more these days
I've been down so many open roads
But they never lead me home
And now I just don't know
Who I really am, how it's gonna be
Is there something that I can't see
I wanna understand

Maybe I will never be who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Or maybe who I am today
Ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be
Every part of me

So I'll try, try to slow things down
And find myself, get my feet back on the ground
It'll take time but I know I'll be alright
Cause nothing much has changed on the inside
It's hard to figure out how it's gonna be
Cause I don't really know now
I wanna understand

I don't wanna wait too long
To find out where I'm meant to belong
I've always wanted to be where I am today
But I never thought I'd feel this way

Sickness

Finally i'm out of the hospital . I can't stand the smell of the medicine in the hospital , i hate it . Let me blogging how i check in to hospital , this is all because i take too much of sleeping pill it mean overdose . I didn't mean to take too much , is was accident . Last night i'm so sleepy then i take the sleeping pills , i got sleeping trouble . i must eat those pills so that i can sleep well . after at hospital my heart stop beating and can breath by myself but thank God , that i can breath again and my heart start beating again . Because of my condition , Son become worry and panic . hehe . Son , i know everything about last night text message while i pass out  . hehe . it was sweet lol . =] By the way , thank you for worrying about me . i appreciate your kindness .

There Is A Star

Someones looking at a star tonight
From sea or plain it's burning bright
A star of guidance a star to wish
A star of love and peace establish

In the night will twinkle, glisten
To wishes, prayers, always listen
There for all faith and creed
A shining light for all in need

So the next time you gaze your star
Think that someone else in land afar
Is gazing wishing just like you
All in hope that dreams come true

A Lonely Star

A lonely star, of the galaxy
Is the feeling I have about myself.
A lonely star, which does shine, till love helps
And when sadness captures, the star feels lonely.
Lonely, so very lonely
Is the way the star feels, even when around other stars
Is the way the loneliness has become.
The star is lonely, without the feeling of love which is pure
Is the way the star feels, which is very lonely.

Potrait of a Friend

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
                from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

I Heart ?

Wish I had concentrated,
They said love was complicated,
But it's something i just fell into,

And it was over-rated
But just look what i've created
I came out alive but i'm black and blue-ue

Before you ask me if i'm alright,
Think about what i,
Had to do-oo, yeah

Wake up and smell the break-up
Fix my heart, put on my make-up
Another mess i didn't plan,
And i'll bet, you thought you'd beat me,
Wish you could only see,
I've got an i heart question mark,
Written on the back of my hand.

I'd be fine if you just walked by,
But you had to talk about why,
You were wrong and i was right,

But i can't believe you made me,
Sit at home and cry like a baby,
Wait right by the phone every night,

And now you ask about you and i,
There's no you and i,
Remember what you put me through,
I had to,

Wake up and smell the break-up,
Fix my heart put on my make-up,
Another mess i didn't plan,
And i'll bet, you thought you'd beat me
I wish you'd could only see
I got an i heart question mark,
Written on the back of my hand

And when you're home alone at night,
You'll still wonder
Why you took everything i had, oh baby
I had a lot about you and i,
There's no you and i,
And i know,
Someday you will...

Wake up and smell the break-up,
Realize that we won't make-up
It didn't go the way you planed,

And you'll know you didn't beat me,
When you look down and see,
I've got an i heart question mark
Written on the back of my hand,

Written on the back of my hand
An i heart question mark, yeah
Written on the back of my hand

Tied Together With A Smile

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you...

Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh, cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay...

You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone... oh
Goodbye, baby
Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby

Quotes and Sayings

1 - Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.

2 - You can't have everything....where would you put it?

3 - If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

4 - When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

5 - You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

6 - When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

7 - Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

8 - Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

9 - No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

10 - If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Sugar

In this year school holiday , the thing that i do is learn to bake muffin , cookies , pie and lot more . i learn to bake by myself . i love baking , i guess is in my blood . everyday i find recipes on the internet or in the book . much to learn but i never get tired or get bored of it . hope one day i can bake for the people that i love and care . i will bake for my family , my bestie , Son , my special someone . if i live long enough , i will bake for them but sadly ..... move on to my story about baking , the most i love to bake is cheese cake and chocolate cake . i addicted to it . omg ! hehe .. my chef idol is Anna Olson , i watch his every shows , never missed it . hehe .. Now i need to find some time to hang out with my bestie , i miss my bestie ... but don't worry i will meet them on 12 september 2009 ..

Rain

rain
rain, rain, rain heal my heart that is broken apart
rain, rain, rain up above from the skies
rain, rain, rain pour here and clean my soul
rain, rain, rain there will be rain here, there will be rain there
rain, rain, rain wash away my pain
rain, rain i will do anything for you to cover my tears

Habit

Hmmm ... Let me blogging about my bad habit .
My very first habits is when time for bed i need my bear blanket , if not i can't sleep . then i need to bite handkerchief till morning if sun already up , the handkerchief that i bite will be wet , hehe .. ewww .. smelly . then i like to bite finger nail , this cause when i was a kid , when i get panic i will bite my finger nail . But now when i fell boring i will bite finger nail , if my mom see me doing that she will scold me . huhu . i need to change my bad habits ... my friend also help me to stop that habits . now i get less bite finger nail . hehe . later i will never bite my finger nail again . People says that a person who always bite finger nail is a person who always thinking . I don't that is true or not . what else to blog about ?

Picture Of Myself

Here is my picture for everyone to see
No one else looks exactly like me
My hair

, my eyes are different you see
My smile, my laughter are special to me
My nose, my mouth, hands and feet
make my features quite unique
So when you look upon my face
and see my "Angelshine"
You will know that I am special
because its all.l.l mine.

My Feeling

When I am sad, I feel like crying. (rub eyes)
When I am proud, I feel like trying. (head held high)
When I feel curious, I want to know. (look up, wondering)
When I'm impatient, I want to go! (cross arms, tap foot)
When I feel angry, I look this way. (angry look)
When I feel happy, I smile all day. (big smile)
When I am puzzled, I make a shrug. (shrug shoulders)
When I feel loving, I want to hug. (hug yourself)

Baby , Don't Break My Heart Slow

i like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken do you mean
Do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you'd sing to me
Every time things got rocky

Problem.Think.Open

PROBLEM --- I got bad issue with my BF , he get mad when i did't contact him . I admit that was true and i'm sorry . It was accident , i got no pocket money for my hp credit , if i ask from my parents , they get mad with me . But i always get money from my grandma . hehe . Shhhhsssss ,don't tell anyone . hehehe . am i a good grand daughter or bad grand daughter ? till now , still not yet settle and my BF say relax then we will settle but when ? all he can say is relax , relax and relax . and now he did't want to on his hp anymore . what a shit ! i will settle it ASAP ! wish me luck .

THINK --- Now i need think what the best thing for me . Which ways will make me happy all the time ? i already found that way . When i'm with Son , i feel very happy and laugh all the time . No tears or sadness just happy hour . Just like old time with Mr.Panda but that was a history . I will thrown away my memories about Mr.Panda .

OPEN --- I need to learn open my heart again and accept new things like Son says to me . I will try my best . now i open my eyes and see the world and the world is just awesome . Finally , i get back some part of myself . My heart starting to heal back and i hope my heart will never fall down again for the second time .


p/s : Son , Thank Q for your advice for me . I really appreciate it and i will always remember it . By the way , i won't forget my promise to you . 

Zero

I don't want to blog today . I have no idea . By the way , i have some new shirt and accessories for my closet . a peace tshirt and miss trouble tshirt . i always wanted a peace tshirt , finally i got it but still not enough . still searching for more peace tshirt . Today , what a bored day , miss SON !  I also buy some new shirt and pant for my dad because he always complaint no new shirt . haha ! i dinner at PH , so full feel like want to thrown out . ewww .. My relationship with my BF quite good . Finally i can forget some of my past about MR.PANDA . huhu ! so hard to do that , but forget him day by day . i hope there is no thing around me that can make me flash about mr.panda . Pray for me that i can success . 

A Place In This World

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Could you tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly by myself .

Decision

I already make my own decision .. Me and Mr.panda is just a history , no use for me to remember Mr.panda anymore . Only will make me cry at late night . No use for me to keep wishing to a wishing star about Mr.panda , he will never come back anymore . Now for me to start a new life without Mr.panda . Like Son say , no use de . haha !

Should or Not ?

hello again BLOG ! hmm ... should i force mysefl to love my new BF , but i'm the one suffer right ? should i break up with my new BF but i feel pity for him ? haiyo . dunno what to do .. BLANK ! I got a friend , but let me call him 'SON' hehe .. He told me to forget Mr.Panda , throw all of my memories with Mr.panda . huhu . Where do i get the strength to forget so much sweet memories with Mr.panda ? This is the part i hate in chapter LOVE , that is BREAK UP AND FORGET MEMORIES . OMG ! Son , help me lol . All Son need to do is knock my head then forget everything but Son said no use if knock head but use heart . How oo ? I so tired of my life . I need to find my new life , all i need is the other side of the door . At there i can find back every pieces of me or my heart . huhu ! Feel just like want to DIE ! Since i knew Son , i often laugh too hard . For few month i never laugh like that . Miss my old life but sadly i need to run away from that life since that unexpected day . I AM SO TIRED ! Tired of what ? Tired of swimming and jump . the back of my body full of pain . Feel like the bone already broken . haha !

Jump then Fall

i lost my direction . Don't where to go . Everything not the same anymore . I can't go back to my life before and cannot start a new life anymore . I'm stuck forever . Wonder why Mr.panda doing , thinking ??? Wish he were beside me . huh .. he not longer mine , i lost my true love . i know true love come once never come twice . now is all gone and fade away . I can't heal myself . What should i do ??? I need to find every part of me but where to start and how ??? Why i get a fate like this ??? I must be patient to this fate . When night fall down , i cry a lot because thinking about mr.panda . When rain fall down , i walk into the rain to cover my teardrops . I could go back to every laugh but i don't want go there anymore because don't have meaning for me anymore . Now what i do is be Dr.Love . haha . Now i have a new BF but he can't change mr.panda place in my heart . Never ever . Deeply in my heart still love mr.panda . Maybe mr.panda don't love me anymore . But nevermind , just let me know what i feel in my heart . Because no one know what i feel . If there is someone know what i feel , thank you ! I don't need sympathy from anyone .

Fourth Letter From Mr.Panda

The letter that MR.PANDA wrote for me when we still together .

( I LOVE YOU )

Bby..

B ingin bby tau bahawa yg b sgt sayangkan bby !! sgt cintakan bby !! Bby.. B trus trang la yahrr..sebenarnya ,,hya bby jak yg brada dihati b & nama bby tlah terukir d'hati b ney .. B trus trang .. B xblh khlangan bby .. xboleh hdup tnpa bby .. xboleh tinggalkan bby .. B xdpt bygkn bagaimana sengsaranya hidup b jika bby tiada d'sisi b :-( .. B mohon rayuan dae bby bahawa jgn sesekali pergi dae cc b ato b'jauhan dae b .. jgn !! :-( B harap,, hbgn kta akn b'kekalan hgga hembusan nafas b yg t'akhir .. dan jika nyawa b duluan d'ambil dae bby .. B mohon supaya bby teruskan k'hdpan bby . B xmau tgk bby dlm k'daan t'seksa ato sengsara .. B hya mau lihat bby dalam k'daan yg aman 'n' bahagia ya :D .. one more .. Apa yg telah k'ta lakukan , etu smua akn brada dlm m'mry ingatan B buat slamanya .. Satu hari nanti .. B pasti akan melamar bby.. Bby tggu jk ya !! hehe :D B pasti!!!! satu hari nanti .. kta pasti akn Bhagia buat slamanya ummuahmauh3*!! I Love You !!

Bby jdi pmpuan yg sjati ya - Blh kn??

jga prangai spt prangai pmpuan ..

pdulikan apa org kta :) ..

yg pntg kta Bhagia..

Third Letter

The letter that MR.PANDA wrote for me when we still together .

Bby !!!:-) I love you ..

   B sgt rindukan bby !! b teringin mau puyok2 bby seperti dulu lagi .. eee .. B kepingin .. B t'ingin mau kiss-kiss bby dengan penuh mesra !! :-) .. B rasa ,, b ingin betul 24 jam b'sama bby .. rasanya mau b'kepit jak .... Bby .. Bby jgn skak sedih-sedih ato nangis bha syg .. plezzz :-( .. b xska tgk .. ndak cumil la tu .. hehehe :D B ingin bby sentiasa hppy "n" bhagia jak bla bsama b .. Bby , bby prasan x ?? jrg uda kita main2 gelitik kn ? btl x ? bby xmau ka saat-saat mesra kita dulu dtg kembali .. lau b? b mau sgt2 saat-saat spt tu kembali lagi .. Bby .. B ska bha tinguk dagu bby .. hehe :D napa ya ? hurm :( ! .. cumil bha dagu bby ney !! geram b tinguk .. bby .. bla kita kucup2 ney ?? hehehe :-) .. b rindu btl ngan bby ney .. Bby ..... nanti time anniversary kta kn .. tyme dsitu .. B mau cipta kenangan yg paaaaaaaaaaling manis bsama bby .. hehe :D  B mau ambil gmbr ama bby byk10 ! ♥ hehe .. b harap buat sementara kita xda jumpa-jumpa ney .. bby jangan lah cedih-cedih ato nangis ya syg , intan , berlian , honey , heart , soul !! hehe :D ukey .. Sampai cnie jak .. To be continued .. maaf lau ada salah tulis .. hehe . Syg bby buat slamanya .. Hurm .. lastly .. bby jgn skak ckp yg b ney lebi pentingkan kazen ato kawan .. 2k pengetahuan bby .. Bby adalah seseorang yg sangat penting dalam hidup b .. I lap you :D