Amazing Number :)

                                                 1 x 8 + 1=9

                                               12 x 8 + 2=98

                                             123 x 8 + 3=987

                                           1234 x 8 + 4=9876

                                         12345 x 8 + 5=98765

                                       123456 x 8 + 6=987654

                                     1234567 x 8 + 7=9876543

                                   12345678 x 8 + 8=98765432

                                 123456789 x 8 + 9=987654321

It's been awhile

Already been few month i didn't update my bloggie but i just update picture and etc . I been busy with my school stuff , family events and for sure with adel . Nothing more important than that in my life . Let me post what i been through all this time . On pmr holiday , almost everytime meet with adel , is easy for him to go out because his mom and brother went to phill , thats why . As for me , my family already meet with him face to face , so the family is likely him and trust him for being with me . Glad that my parents like him , so there will be no problem at all . We been go on date for a few times , we go for lunch and etc . He ask me where to buy Desa Milk , LOL . When we go out on date , he never ask my parents permission , sure i'm the one will be asking until one day he ask permission , on that time i was take nappy in the living room on a sofa , i didn't notice that he arrive until he greet my mom by saying "hi , aunty" he totally shocked me . Then he step his foot into the house and straight to the point asking my mom to let him bring me go out . My heart beat , beat as fast as possible because he totally shocked me , i can't believe that he got guts to do so . I'm proud of him because got confident to ask my mom . After that , we went to Ogos Cafe or Command Center to had our lunch , while we walked into the cafe , other customer like looked at us , maybe they feel odd , i guess but i don't care . After lunch , we went to Batu Payung to spend our time together , we been make joke , chit chat lot of stuff but most of the time we just laugh for no reason , is fun to do . He totally make my day happy than other people do . I love touching his hair , his eyes and his face . I just won't get tired of doing that . He also like to touch my hair , my eyes . I love when he say "yerrr , your eyes so sepet o" Haha xD . I love everything about him , hardly to forget what he said before . Every word and every sentence that he said , i will remember until my heart stop beating . Truly , i never been so happy like now , i superbly happy having him and being part of my life . I won't ever change my feeling or everything toward him . I won't ever leave him no mattere what . Dear , please don't keep thinking about the nightmare that you had because it will never happen between us , you gonna believe that it will not happen at all . That's only a nightmare that scare you so that you can't focus on other things . Remember big exam is near , we gonna study and score back together like we say before . Don't ever let nonsense thing block your mind or your way . Plus , do balance between study and me . Me , as you motivator will stand right beside you cheer and support you . Me , as your beloved will be by your side , holding your hand to past through all memories and challenge together . We will hold on till the heart stop beating . Believe that we will be together . End , do check on my blog for more updates . Bye (:

i want to eat this so badly !

8 years from now , perhaps ♥

Superbly cute puppy !

:) apakah ini??

derr

Spill Out Question !

hahaha...pO bOndO nie jang? xpandai kawe dOk maen fOmsping nie..hahaha..nk mintOk sapO2 dOk nOlong kawe nie jang...hahaha

derr

Spill Out Question !

who in u heart now?

Allah , Familys , Adelson , Friends .

Spill Out Question !

Turning 17

5 October ♥

Blog will be update ASAP :)

Finally my blog save from the hack . 

do u wanna flower???huhu~~

errrr . . .

Spill Out Question !

070929010 ♥

Today been so awesome and wonderful day with Adel . We went to a movie "Street Dance" , this movie was kinda energetic i like it damn much because is my favorite type of movie then my feet started wanna to dance but i control my feeling to dance out .LOL ! I just don't know how to describe my feeling because i'm super duper happy . I keep bully him , because last night he keep bully and bully me that's why today i pay back . LMAO !
Gonna be a short post only . By the way , today didn't snap picture at all .

Are you more of a talker or more of a listener?

Listener :)

Spill Out Question !

Would you rather be really hot or really cold?

really cold .

Spill Out Question !

Sneakers or sandals?

sandals :)

Spill Out Question !

When was the last time you received flowers?

never receive at all . LOL

Spill Out Question !

If you had access to a time machine, where and when would be the first place you travel to?

my past . i guess so .

Spill Out Question !

What's the longest you've ever gone without a bath or shower?

Never ever happen .

Spill Out Question !

LMAO so fukin true . .

OHHH MYYY GOSH ! IT SO ADORABLE <3

Addicted to this ! It is super duper delicious . 

Random-ness

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: latte .
2. Last phone call: adelson O.O
3. Last text message in fb: O.O kiddo
4. Last song you listened to:  Auburn - Perfect Two ( remix )
5. Last time you cried: derrr . .
6. Last time been on a date: 30082010


HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Been cheated on: yes ( many times )
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: hmmm . . dunno .
9. Lost someone special: yes .
10. Been depressed: yes , depressed with O.O
11. Been drunk and threw up:  no =.="


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. white
13. black
14. pink



THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: eyup :)
16. Fallen out of love: no =="
17. Laughed until you cried: eyup , happy tears =')
18. Met someone who changed you:  eyup =)
19. Found out who your true friends were: hmm . . not really .
20. Found out someone was talking about you: for stalker , yes .
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: . derrr . . nop .
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life : much but dunno how many .
23. How many kids do you want to have:  2 , perhaps twins . :)
24. Do you have any pets: yes , one cat .
25. Do you want to change your name: not sure yet .
26. What did you do for your last birthday: birthday not yet arrive .
27. What time did you wake up today: around 10 .
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: calling and texting ~.~
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: new stuff for my closet .
30. Last time you saw your Mother: last nite .
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my horrible past .
32. What are you listening to right now: owl city - vanilla twilight <3
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:  nop .
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing at all =)
35. Most visited webpage:  Facebook + Blogspot .
36. What's your real name:  Amanda Kong Suk Yin :)
37. Nicknames: Cece or Bebe
38. Relationship Status: In a relationship remix Married <3
39. Zodiac sign: Libra .
40. Male or female?: Female .
41. Elementary?: sjk (c) yuk chin
42. Middle School?: smk convent st ursula .
43. High school/college?: smk convent st ursula .
44. Hair colour: Forever black :)
46. Height: 161cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: crush on O.O
48: What do you like about yourself?: my attitude .
49. Piercings: ear only .
50. Tattoo: ewww . no .
51. Righty or lefty: Righty .




FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: no
53. First piercing: ear
54. First best friend: Farrah
55. First sport you joined: Netball
56. First vacation: Singapore


RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Fried rice .
60. Drinking: Water .
61. I'm about to: update bloggie
62. Listening to: This is our song by camp rock 2
63. Waiting on: text message .


YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: yes .
65. Get Married?: indeed !
66. Career?: yes .



WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes ~.~
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Both .
70. Older or Younger: Younger .
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic .
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms .
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive .
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship .
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant .


HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger:  no . gross much !
77. Drank hard liquor: no .
78. Lost glasses/contacts: no .
79. Sex on first date: ewwww . no way !
80. Broken someone's heart: yes but only once .
82. Been arrested: no .
83. Turned someone down: yes .
84. Cried when someone died: yes . that's for sure .
85. Fallen for a friend?: yes .




DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself:  yes for 99.99%
87. Miracles: yes .
88. Love at first sight: not really .
89. Heaven:  yes .
90. Santa Claus: no . LOL !
91. Kiss on the first date: Kinda .
92. Angels: yes .


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. lesbo or gay?: non .
95. Did you sing today?: yes , almost everday i sing :)
96. Ever cheated on somebody?  yes gua .
97. If you could go back in time: 2008
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: 09092009 , the day i got broken down .
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: depends
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yes :)

The way you type a "haha" can determine the conversation . Such as :



ha ha = sarcastic
hah = shut the fuck up
ha… ha.. = awkward laugh
bahahahaha = good shit
ahahaha = oh thats funny
hahahahhahahahah = what even?
haha = I smiled
hahahah (if it ends with an h) = umm..
hahahaha (if it ends with an a) = okay..

Where is your favorite shopping place?

EP .

Spill Out Question !

Following you dear ;)

Wokey , follow you back =)

Spill Out Question !

Ready for SPM ?

Currently studying for it , half way ready . wbu ?

Spill Out Question !

What your ex-boy first letter of is name ?

Not remember ;)

Spill Out Question !

its me lol xP

me who ?

Spill Out Question !

Non - Active

NON-ACTIVE IN FACEBOOK FOR A WHILE 

Fallen

Today is kind of cold and moody . He being emo and me being worry maybe because of last nite , i know i should not don't that to him . Is true last night i kind of pissed off . Last night , i'm not in the mood and kind of angry and he worry and shed tears . I'm sorry baby because make you shed tears and now you being emo and quiet not like always . No need to know why i angry last night , only me and him know about it . I'm so stupid because angry on thing that should not be angry . Yes , i'm idiot . I admit it . I regret because
mad at him and now i don't know how to cheer him up , make him smile , make him laugh again like he always do . I can't think at all . My tears falling to my cheek , my face become pale and my body become weak . I won't get some rest until he happy again . I'm just gonna wait him to text me . Today at school , i sleep a lot because teacher didn't care much and most of us just sleep . Nothing extraordinary at school , no high-ing like always do . Oh dear , i'm crying ='(  When school bell rings , like always my mom already wait for me at outside of school but today didn't saw him . Kind feeling sad . Arrived at home , i direct text him but his text totally cold and no mood , i can feel that even he said that he fine .What happen between us ? I keep thinking and i know that is all my fault . Now feeling guilty and useless





P.S , Adelson Teu , i'm sorry about last night . I know i should not being angry . I know what ask me to do is for my own good . I totally regret with what had i done . I wish i can turn back time and prevent myself being angry but now already too late . I feel like i'm losing you . I hope you will cheer up like always . I'm sorry ='(

Sketch

26 August 2010 ♥

Today is our day . Lovin' the everyday that i with him . Loving him every beat of my heart and gonna love him till my heart stop beating . I will be with him first and last . I only want him be in my heart no one else . I wanna make our relationship last for eternity . He's the key to my heart . He totally drive me crazy . I'm totally speechless .

I Love Adelson Teu ♥

Memorable Date with Adelson

16072010♥

we knew each other 

25072010♥

our first met at library 

07082010♥

our first date at Secret Recipe

21082010♥

our second date go for a badminton match

Badminton Match

Today was a fairytale ! Awwww , i smile even brighter and flawness if i remind with what happen today . I just far too happy and super duper ! Today i got badminton match with adelson and my cousin , mayvis . Yay , only three of us . Last night i hardly can sleep , because thinking about upcoming badminton match and meeting with adelson . So in the morning , i wake up around 4am , so early , so i play PS2 for a while glad my mom didn't mad at me for playing PS2 . After play PS2 , around 6am , i get my breakie that mean breakfast . I just have biscuit and latte as breakfast . Simple isn't ? After breakfast , i do housework as usual if not sure my mom will mad . Then , finish all my work , i take my bath then get ready go to my cousin house . Wait for adelson come and fetch me and my cousin . We arrive at court around 9 am . I play with my cousin first then with adelson . Adelson laugh at me and i laugh at him . LOL ! Kinda funny . As the result , he will against me in other meaning i lose to him . I owe him a hug . We only play for one hour if play for another two hour , my shoulder will become more injure . During play with adelson , i injure my right knee but not so bad . After finish playing , we go home to my cousin house and send her to school then adelson send me home but just drop me at back of the shop , After arrive there , i feel like wanted don't want go home , wanna be longer with him , he also same with me . Keep saying 'don't go first' . We chit chat a lot in car , he keep looking to my eyes , and that make my face turn red . Then i sing for him Perfect Two . I can't stop smiling and laughing . I'm so happy everytime with him not every time i guess but every beat of my heart . We getting more closer and closer . But anyway , i happy enough and don't know describe my happiness .

Sing to me

Enrique Iglesias - Hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance

Would you run and never look back 

Would you cry if you saw me crying 

Would you save my soul tonight

Would you tremble if I touched your lips 

Would you laugh oh please tell me this 

Now would you die for the one you love 

Hold me in your arms tonight

I can be your hero baby 

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever 

You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine

Would you lie would you run and hide

Am I in too deep have I lost my mind 

Well I don't care you're here tonight

I can be your hero baby 

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

Ohhh I just wanna hold you, 

I just wanna hold you, oh yeah

Am I in too deep have I lost my mind 

Well I don't care you're here tonight

I can be your hero baby 

I can kiss away the pain

(Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah)

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

I can be your hero

I can kiss away the pain

And I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

You can take my breath away

I can be your hero

Us

This post is only about us in other meaning is dedicated to us . Where should i start then ? Gonna story from that day we knew each other . We knew each other on 16 July 2010 . We met on facebook , that time i add him as my friend . Then he started to IM me , he said ' you the one follow naz car just now ? ' then i said ' yes ' . Actually i didn't realize him on back of naz car .  Then i said to him ' how you recognize me ? ' he said ' i recognize your spec ' I just smile and laugh . Thus , we started to introduce ourself in chatbox . He is mix blood same as me . What i can't believe is both of us have many similarities . So funny but cool . I never met a person that have similarities with me . He the first person , sure he will be happy if he knew .  He keep say me that i am unique and cute . Then i will say back not cute but ordinary . He still say the same thing =) Awww  . . . We chit chat in chatbox then we started to text . From texting , i knew a lot about him and he also know lot about me . We texting like a couple but actually me and him just best friend or best buddy . Talking about best buddy , i got a friend keep say the same thing ' now is best buddy , soon will be buddy love . But people and friend think we are couple , so we just let it be and as long as both of us know what happening between us . As long we happy together ^.^ . We almost texting for 24hour . LOL . After a few week , i guess , i confess to him about my feeling toward him , he just like speechless . I confess to him because i want him to know what i feel to him . Glad that he also got the same feeling as i do . I am very glad on that time . He shorter than me and lighter than me . But i don't care . He like little kiddo but i likely . I love to see him wearing his white spec . Awww ! Our first meet i mean face to face , was at the library . That was on Tuesday , he got biology tuition .O ya , biology is his favorite even things that about science will be his favorite .  Cool man . He is upper form 6 , this year will be facing STPM and me will be facing SPM . Both of us got big exam this year *sigh . He change me a lot , i been so hardworking in study and guess what i am getting panda eyes . =.= . LMAO ! Our first meet just awhile but id worthy . I am so happy because meet him . Then our second meet is we out to ep and go to eat at secret recipe . Actually not two of us but four of us that is me , him , mey and naz . I didn't nervous at all about go out on date with him , go out on date as best buddy . So naz and mey pick me up at my house , he wait me at the shop , then i get in his car . We start talking and talking . I laugh a lot , he just stay cool most of the time . Glad that i'm not the kind easily get bored if not sure i will piss off . Haha ! We went to ep , walk and walk suddenly i felt tired so i put my arm at his back . Sure he will be panic . I feel comfortable when with him , don't know why . After walk around at ep , we went to secret recipe . Secret recipe was full house , glad that they manage got four empty seat . He sit beside me , then we order . Guess what , he follow what i order , he said want to eat what unique people eat . I laugh and smile . We snap two picture of us . Such a sweet memory that i had in my life . He sent me home on around 5pm . After that we seldom meet because fasting month is coming . But just now in the afternoon , we see each other from far distance , i real happy can see him with his white spec ^.^ . What can i say about him is he light up my life . Make me happy everyday . Make me laugh and smile every second . Thank you for be in my life . Je t'aime !

Fasting Month plus Excel

Yeap =) . August is here and is fasting month . Wow , time pass so fast . . Vrooooommmmmm . . . Fast like F1 . LOL ! Today is the fourth day of fasting and i already two day didn't fasting *sigh . Stop talking about fasting . Hope time pass even faster , i can't wait till raya . After raya , october will coming soon , can't wait for my birthday . I'm gonna celebrate big bash party ! In the mean time , i need to bake a homemade cheese cake for Adelson Teu =) . Excel ? Yay , already two week i study for this second excel , i scare that still not enough study . I drink a lot of latte just for keep me awake at night to study . I totally exhausted , i didn't get enough rest . Sure i will pass out just like when i study hard for first excel . Then adel , also got excel on wednesday . Adel , must study hard . Don't be lazy . I miss the moment that we had together even we just best friend but i feel like more than best friend . Yeap , i can't denied my feeling . I love having you around me all the time . Feel like wanted to give you a big hug , yay i miss you ! Maybe , after this i will less update my blog . Bye =)

Double Plan of Today

First plan is in the morning that is Shooting Training .

Our school is the first start the shooting , i was in the second group . I scare enough with the noise . Gggrrr but was a fun . I only got 5 target on the board , but it was great better than none . LOL ! Nothing much to say about shooting days but i think i laugh too hard when on the way to shooting place and on the way back to school . Yes , i laugh non stop until my stomach hurt badly . This is all because the van got a sticker called 'Uncle Chang 8' , this van keep following us because we keep asking to follow our back . LMAO xD . But before the shooting training start , me and mey and my other friend keep snapshot . Still thinking about the shooting training . After the shooting training , my right shoulder in pain so much , the pain that i can't imagined . Later i will upload few picture at shooting training in my blog and facebook . Just wait for it .


Second plan in the evening is Going out with adel , naz , mey and went to Secret Recipe .

This plan was the best ever in my life ! I'm super duper happy till don't know how to describe my feeling . Awww , meet with adel . Bebe likely , i also know adel also likely . LMAO xD . Right or not adel ? I order the cappuccino cheese cake , he also same with me but our latte not the same . I don't where i get the guts to touch his hair , put my hand on his shoulder and etc . I just being myself . We speak in three different language such as chinese , malay and english , just like remix . LOL ! Quiet funny . But lovin' it . His friend is in curious mood and keep thinking that me and adel is couple . OMG ! But nevermind , only me and adel know what is happening between us . Am i right , O.O ? Awww , he drive me crazy everday ! He make me smile and laugh everday . Make me more happier and happier . Sure i will miss him if we seldom contact . Picture i will upload one into blog the rest look in my facebook .

 

p/s : sweetest moment !

Happiest Life Ever

Hello mello dello jello =) As i know , nowdays i far too happy . But i likely being like this , smille bright everday .  Awww . . Where should i start to story ? *thinking . . . I'm gonna start with yesterday story . In the morning i went to school like usual , smile alone in class but no one realize that i smiling alone . =D . Then back from school , poor my mom . She seems very busy deal with her visa and payment but i was there to help her . After finish deal with her visa , we went to library because i wanted to ask more information about library card . Guess what ? Who i met ? OMG ! Adel the cina mata bulat O.O . 




We just chit chat for a while . He was wearing white spec . He is cute but unique . Same as me . LOL . Even we just met for a while , i feel thankful and happy . My feeling was so high . After that i can't stop thinking about him . Last night i just slept for 3 hours , the reason is first is i miss him too much , second is i got homework to do . Truly i never felt like this before , i will appreciate for eternity . I glad that both of us have the same feeling , the feeling that only both of us know . Awww , mata bulat , you light up my life and you make me smile bright everyday . I lovin' you be in my life !


Today ? Nothing special . Just smiling alone again and again . I keep singing Justin Bieber - Down To Earth and Before The Morning . I lovin' that song !

Happiness

I'm truly happy with my life now . I wish my life will be happy till the end of time . Now i feel better than before because i meet one new friend name Adel . He give me inspiration in life and study . He's form 6 student . We meet on Facebook . We been chat and chat and chat . Quiet fun having a friend like him and he always say me pelik tapi benar and unique . He been a good friend and we move our friendship to bestfriend . I totally appreciate our friendship , wish our friendship never end . He light up my life that what i love about . This year both of us facing big exam , i give him support and he give me support . That what friend do , right ? We been messaging in phone but never heard his voice , i wanted to hear but i scare . LOL ! When i texting with him , sure i will laugh and smile alone till my mom feel odd toward me . Haha . Quiet funny between me and him but only me and him know . Guess what ? I already got back all the pieces of old me . The one that smile and laugh all the time .

Addiction

Back to sleeping pills again .

.

No need to guilty . 

No need to worry .

So Close

Currently listening to So Close by Jon Mclaughin .




You're in my arms, and all the world is calm
The music playing on, for only two..
So close, together
And when I'm with you
So close, to feeling alive..
As life goes by,
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid my goodybe,
And never knew..
So close, was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I wanted,
Was to hold you, so close...
So close, to reaching
That famous happy end, and
Almost, believing,
This one's not pretend, and
Now you're, beside me
And look how far we've come..
So far, we are..so close...
Oh how could I face, the faceless days?
If I should lose you now..
We're..so close,
To reaching, that famous happy end, and
Almost, believing, this one's not pretend, and
Let's go on dreaming, for we know we are..
So close..
So close..
And still so far...

Confession

Finally , i already confess what i feel toward him . But it's okay if he didn't feel the same way like i do . I'm learning to accept the fate that i can't accept . He give me the best reason , study and facing big exam . Even that i also need to respect his decision . I feel like wanted to cry but i stop myself to cry . I cannot force people . I also don't like to force people . I  knew he is the right one but not like what i expected . So me and him just being best friend like usual . I appreciate our friendship . I know i should not fall in love to him but i just can't control my feeling . He light up my life and make me cheerful inside and outside . I never lies about my feeling and toward myself . With a heavy heart , i accept . Once again i failed . Amanda , be strong . I just gonna keep smiling and being cheerful where things getting better or getting worst . I hate what i feeling right now . Oh God , give me more strength .

IGNORED

IGNORE THOSE PICTURE OF GUY 

THEY NOT MY BELOVED ANYMORE

Riding solo

Yes . The title is riding solo . Wanna know ? No more love in me , i mean love to a man or guy . Hard to find a guy that love me for me and truly understand me . All the time , i being fool by guy but should i be thankful ? I patient enough for being fool by guy . I can't stand it anymore . Why some of guy think girl like a doll that they can play with . I just don't get it . For what they do that ? Such a bullshit . Arrgghh . . I'm tired of this kind of drama , just end it . I can't suffer anymore , i hurt enough , i stress enough . Stop it . Finally , i am solo again . There is no guy left for me , i guess . Maybe i just need to accept with open heart that the fact there is no right guy for me . My BFF already found their right man . Congrats for them , happy for you guys . From now on , i will not going to studio anymore , i'm sorry , PLUR . If i feel i wanted go to studio , i will call . I am just damn lonely right now or forever . All i do is pretend to smile and being cheerful . Yay right cheerful at outside of me but not inside of me . How could my life be so miserable ? I can't believe it . Is everything will be ok ? I don't think so . I didn't need people pity toward me because i never ask for any person sympathy . Never ! I can't find my love . I already lost hope . Just wishing toward the star is my hobby when i am sad . Who gonna cheer me up ? No one . Who gonna love me for me ? No one . I realize that i am all alone from now on . Maybe already my faith to be like this . I just need to accept it .


p/s - Totally sad and lonely =(

Farewell

Now , i will be less online if on school day . I will online on Saturday and Sunday . I will be busy for a while with my school stuff . But i will try my best to update my blog , tumblr , facebook , twitter . ASAP for sure .

Activated

FACEBOOK

FORMSPRING

TWITTER

TUMBLR

Website That I Use

My Facebook Acc . 

Add me =)

Amanda Bebe

or

babybebeamanda@yahoo.com

My Twitter Acc .

I like this website .

Follow me and I will follow you back =)

Search : BebeSepet.

Duhhh .

Hello mello =) Yay is me again blogging again . Actually i think of stop blogging but when my reader ask me not  to stop blogging then i must go on blogging . I am not weak person but i am a strong person . I will never fall down just because a stupid things . I just tired of all this drama , the same drama . Amanda , chill down girl . Start a new life babe . My holiday assignment not yet done , i kinda lazy to do it . I just know bake + blogging + eat , yes 3 in 1 . Haha =D Yeah , i love to bake but sadly my mum won't let me study about bake when i after SPM . But no need to worry , i already know how to bake . My life will be great because i got my friend and family beside me . I live for you my friends .

Rain falling down

Yeah , that's right rain is falling down it means tears falling down .

I will keep the pain and enjoy the smile .

Are you guys happy now for fooling me ?

Nightmare

My life is my worst nightmare ever . After the black history , my life is getting more worst . Could it get more worst at present or at the future . I just can't predict my life , boys just love to play me around and fool me around . Yay , i won't get over it but i will get used to it and guess what i do used to it . In boys eyes i am a doll for them . FCUK for them ! How dare you all , believe me you guys will get pay for what had you all done to me . I won't revenge for what you guys did , but i let Allah to give revenge for you guys . The feeling of regret won't shown up early but will shown up late . Now you happy and in the end tears falling down . Trust me because i know how it feel . You guys should be a shame , look at yourself so annoying . Once again thank you guys for fooling me again and again . For you guys information , i never ask for sympathy for anyone else . I can live it up without you guys . You guys just a bacteria in my life , so i am gonna kill you guys away . One more thing before i forget , me and boy relationship are officially over , yes is over forever . He lie to me about his status ( relationship ) Don't want to talk about it . Lastly me and boy are over .

BabyBoo

Last night i went to bed on 1:30 a.m. , i know is late . In the morning i wake up on 8 a.m. early right . So i didn't get enough my sleep and my eyes is getting an eyesbag just like a panda eye . Boy said ever cute if i be like that . Hee =D I am gonna get rid of my eyesbag , by get enough of sleep . Today is Sunday , is kind of bored for me because my baby boy not wake up yet so can't text with him . So i just stay at home with my little sister , i watch tv and she playing game in lappy . I just don't know what to do , such a bored day . In the morning and afternoon , i didn't eat much or drink much . I am so tired but i don't go to take a nap . I don't know why , freaky right ? *sigh . In the evening , me and my family go to aunt house to give back her blanket . Then , baby boy call me but sorry i can't answer your call because got my parents . After that , we start to text message and i told to baby boy that i will dinner at Pizza Hut then baby boy said wanna meet for 5 minute or more and i said okey . After i arrive at Pizza Hut , i text him . So i go to outside to meet him but my brother follow me , So we meet in his car , his face so chubby . Just make me wanna bite his cheek . Gggrrrr ! He go for a spin at town , we started to talk and talk . While my brother go to buy phone credit , he immediately hold my hand , i just shocked at that time . His smell , i still can smell on my hand , so soft . He is so sweet . Even we just meet for a couple minute but i appreciate it and glad that can meet with him . If can tomorrow i wanna meet him again but in the evening . I miss him damn much ! I love him damn much !

A Guy Name Boy

He's the one name Boy . He's older than me for two year . Even we didn't know long each other but it seems like we easily work it out i mean chat , talk , understand each other and something else . I glad that because i know a person like him . Hard to find a person like him . For me , he the kind of sweet boy , caring , loving and a honest person . From his look , his at the stage of cuteness that what i think and what my heart say about him  . Once again i falling in love . I just can't believe that all of this is true and happening to me . I thought i won't fall in love again but i was wrong . Yes , i falling in love to him . I hope he feel the same way like i do .

 

Speak in Both

OK ! Here we go .
Patutkah seorang kawan tinggalkan seorang kawan lagi disebabkan berkawan baik dengan bekas teman lelakinya ? Bagi saya , itu perbuatan paling tak masuk akal . Saya betul betul geram dengan perempuan itu . Saya sudah bagi penjelasan dan minta maaf biarpun saya tahu saya tak bersalah . Kalau saya yang jadi awak pasti saya maafkan dan tak akan marah marah atau bergaduh disebabkan lelaki . Kalau awak marah-marah atau bergaduh disebabkan lelaki , bila lelaki itu dapat tahu dia pasti jadi bangga . What a stupidity !

Then . .

Si lelaki pula macam kurang ajar . Minta tolong sikit pun tak boleh . Kedua-duanya lupa budi dan lupa kawan .
Bila kamu berdua masih bercouple amd hubungan kamu ada masalah , kamu berdua terus cari saya dan minta tolong . Tapi bila giliran saya kamu lupa kawan and kata saya yang bukan-bukan . Saya tak akan cakap yang saya menyesal ada kawan seperti kamu . Yang saya akan cakap ialah kamu berdua akan dapat balasannya .

E to the N to the D

La fin de moi

F to the U to the C to the K

Hey girl , i am not kawan makan kawan or kawan tikam belakang .
What make you say like that about me ? Me and him just friend is that wrong ?
If you think is wrong just say it out and tell me then i will stop being friend with him .
We been friend together , i won't do things that will make you mad or hurt . 
I am truly sorry .

Rest in peace or ?  My life keep breaking down , some of my friend hate me , mad at me . I don't what to do , i just know to say sorry to them . Arggghhh ! Damn it , let me die faster . I just want to end the pain inside of me . By the way i think my left ear got tumor , i can feel it but i don't want go to check my ear . I rather suffer my pain than heal . My life is meaning - less , you know why people or friend already change , don't know because of what . I can't feel the love from my friend now not like old time .  I feel very down , no one will comfort me , love me , care me . People play me like a doll . Yeah for those people i am a doll not a human being . I didn't realize that some people truly appreciate me , love me , care me . Where can find a person that can love me , appreciate me , care me truly ? Hard  to find a person like that . Still wishing toward the wishing star .

Scare then Scream

Screamo ! School holiday is around the corner , will i enjoy thee holiday ? I don't think so . I didn't have people to enjoy with or spend with . Maybe i just stay at home at hit the laptop and online and blogging , yeah i love blogging damn much . Now i more to blogging now then online at Facebook . Because in Facebook , no one chat with and people ignoring me . Yeah i know i invisible in everybody eyes . Maybe i will lose my friend one by one because i hurt someone feeling for what i said ' better i stay away from your life , because you love other girl and that will hurt me' Because of that he angry with me , he's the first boy i met who is so sensitive than me . I'm totally shock but i accept him as my best buddy . But don't know will he still be my buddy after i said like that but i already apologize to him and he forgive me but after he forgive me it seem that he regret for knowing me , don't want be friend with me , ignoring me . I'm so sorry =( I truly don't want to lose you , supermanjaboy !

This holiday i will go for a treatment about my health in my body . You know people have sickness must go for a medical check up . I know that my sickness is almost got and need not to eat medicine anymore . But just for safety to go for the doctor . No need wish me luck because there will be no one to support and wish me . What a pity girl am i . I hate this but is my idea . i guess ?

Will be anybody can change the way i feel about myself ? I don't think so . Everybody abandon me . Such a pity . Nevermind , maybe i am dying soon that's why people abandon and keep ignoring me .

=(

REGRET - NESS

EMPTY - HEART

BROKEN - ONE

OMG

 BEBE IS TRAUMA .

 BEBE IS TRAUMA .

BEBE IS TRAUMA .

BEBE IS TRAUMA .

BEBE IS TRAUMA .

BEBE IS TRAUMA .

Broken One

Broken one ? Broken heart ?

Yup . I am totally broken now . What should i say and what should i do ?

Other people being perfect one or two and i am at here being broken one .

Never thought that life is full pain that for what i think and feel .

I can't feel my heart anymore . I am heartless .

Gonna get eraser and erase my heart .

I realize that my life is destroy forever . I'm totally lost hope forever .

Nobody realize that i am exist in this world . I  know i am being invisible .

I feel damn blue now . All i know is cry .

  But 

I am sick of crying . Tired of trying . Yeah i am smiling but inside of me is dying .

Stick to be flying solo and go solo .

Because i know no one will care about me and no one love me .

I gonna stop hoping magic or miracle will happen .

a broken heart is like a broken mirror .

its is better to leave it broken 

than hurt myself trying to fix it .

it feel like this pain 

will last forever ,

it feel like this hurt

will never go away .


Take me away 
Run me away 
Fly me away 




I choose to be sad rather to be happy ,
I choose to cry rather to laugh ,
I choose to hurt rather to heal , 
I choose to destroy rather to fix ,
I choose to die rather to alive ,
I choose to end rather to start ,






The End of My Soul

Perfect Two

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if you could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause your the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause you are the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two


You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry
Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two

Happily Never After

Hmm . . Where should i start ? Let's start from my life . Here goes my life like a ferris wheel , you know why ? Because my position of my life is a the lower of ferris wheel and i won't be higher any more . People keep tell me to fly or jump higher but i just can't , i already stuck at the basement . Maybe forever i guess . *sigh . After the black history , my life not great enough like i wanted to be . When i get a boyfriend , the relationship can't work out well . I just don't know what the problem but for sure my feeling just being play and fool easily . I think i kind of stupid for being fool and play . Am i stupid ? I don't know .  When i fall in love with someone , the someone already have a girlfriend or fall in love with other girl . That's kind of hurting me but i must get over it no matter what . Nobody truly understand what i feel , if is there someone understand what i truly feel , i will feel so glad but until now no one truly understand mu feeling even my family and friend didn't understand . I appreciate my family and my friend . As the result i make them happy all the time and when they feel blue i will try my best to comfort them . Sadly i only can make people i love and care happy but i can't make myself happy . Behind my smile no one understand . If there someone understand , show to me because i want to know . Even my condition like this , i need not sympathy from someone , i will never ask for sympathy because i am not like that .



Currently listening to Happily Never After by Nicole and Perfect Two by Auburn .

 

 
If could i want to fly away from my life . I suffer too much because few things is killing me deeply until i cry all night long . I can't go on anymore , I begging that take my pain and sickness away from me . When i cry so hard and too long i can't breath on my own but i being stubborn ( My Black Secret ) Every night i keep wishing toward the shinning star to give back my spirit to live happily again . I need someone that truly love me and truly can take care of me . My black history keep haunting me , that's why i stuck in my black history . I can't get out of my black history but for sure no one can save me anymore .I'm will flying solo into the sky .


P/s : Happy for those being perfect two .

Setting ; OFF

Well well well .

I may stop blogging for a while , i'm sorry to say like that . I got few thing to settle with thats why i can't blogging . By the way first semester exam in coming soon and i need to study a week before examination . 

Wish me luck ^.^  

Currently listening to Neve Again by Danny Fernandes .

Trust me this song so deep into my heart . 

Farewell Bloggie =)

Speak Out !

Hello wello mello dello jello =)
Finally , i can online back like always . Last few weeks and month , i move to new house thats why i can't online . Got some interruption , sorry for the problem . When i online at my facebook and email , i receive lot of friend request and notification . Damn it my finger is tired clicking to confirm friend request . *sigh . I got a lot to blog about but i don't know where should i start . Let me start from my new house . Well i already move to new house and not longer live at grandma house . I'm so glad that i can have my own privacy and got my own room but i need to share with my little sister . I paint my room wall with cherry blossom pink is cute . Hee =D . Since when i like pink colour ? Jump to the next story , about school . I got lot of  homework and presentation to do . *phew . I just can't believe that my BFF got that kind of person in her life . Don't want to talk about it , just let it be .
Gonna stop blogging . Later i will update again =)

Shizzo .

Hello wello . I know is been a while i didn't update my bloggie . I been busy with my school stuff . Spm years who know been a busy wusy year . I totally exhausted today and today i didn't go to school because i have to represent the school and go to the police station for celebrate the police day . Yayyy . In the morning the cloud is bit a dark and it's raining a bit . We have to line up in the middle of the rain . My uniform is all wet , on that time i got flu *sigh . I can't feel my shoulder and my knee , because we line up for a long time . Damn hurt and the speech was damn long like newspaper . OMFG ! But glad the weather not hot if not i may pass-out . Next monday , i also won't attend to school because teacher ask me to follow her to JP for the practice of celebrate the  Kadet Polis which will be on 31 March 2010 . Yayyy , i can't wait but this time we need to line up for about 2 or 3 hours . Damn it , i will pass-out just believe me . 

I miss my old friend and my son syafeeq !

Fahman , i miss you sygs !

Choices

Hmm . This lately i keep thinking did i do a right decision in my life and am i happy with my life now ? Sometime the answer is yes and no . I can't stop thinking , wanna share story with people i love but i scare they didn't understand . *sigh . Well look at the bright side , and don't look at the dark side . But i can't see nothing at all . Am i blind ? The most strange feeling and dream is the worst past of my life come back in my mind again , i hate it damn much . I already hardly forget it but it come back again , i didn't ask to come back . But why me ? I already enough suffer for all that bad memory . Oh God , please help me to pass through ! I don't what i feeling right now , i am all white out . You can't feel me and i can't feel you .

Love is in the air

130310

on

12.25 a.m.

we

   speak 

   out 

   our

    feeling

     MOHD FAHMAN

      and

       AMANDA

 

Solo

Hello hello . . . I'm getting real busy nowdays , you know busy with school stuff and my real life , of course .

TOTALLY BUSY !

Well i'm gonna re-organize my schedule for school and tuition . But i am not gonna forget to hang out sometime with my friend . I'm going to be solo , that's for me but don't know for him . I don't love him anymore , he just can't understand , i guess . I'm don't care much , suit yourself but i won't recognize him as my boyfriend . It's over for me . Up to you what to say what or beg me but i am still end it .

                              GOODBYE FOR YOU !

Well going through solo life is not hard at all . I already what the feeling of being solo . But this time i'm gonna enjoy every single of my life . Never missed it . Well for the haters , i ain't care what you talk about me at my back but one thing for sure you guys just make yours mouth tired talk bad about me and make your heart more hurt , i know you jealous with but i don't care . If you skin is dark , just admit it no need to pretend bto have a white skin . I admit that my skin not white . So don't busybody with other people life and go mine your own business .

HATER YOU MAKE ME FAMOUS !
  

THE END

                                      

Away

I'm just gonna do a real quick post .
Please fade away from my life , i don't want to recall back or look back about that moment .  
Stop it . Is killing my heart .
I won't go back anymore no matter what you do .
Last night my parents scolded me about what happen at school , damn that teacher he says bad word or things about me then make my mum so angry at me . I been crying last night until my eyes become smaller .
I call son syafeeq because i knew he will comfort me with his joke and make laugh . I'm sorry because make you wake up from your sleep .

What a hard day

This week is exam week . I don't feel in the mood to blogging like i used to be . I been a tough days , is killing me . The weather is so HOT  i can't stand it , the HEAT of the SUN make me HEADACHE and FEVER . Damn for those still open-burning . I hate when people open-burning , they just keep the earth become more hotter than even , such stupid person . Maybe they didn't think about the effect . Noob =.=" . Well my exam was quiet good but i didn't satisfied with my history paper , i didn't aswer all the question and i SCARE i cannot pass the test . Oh God , i SCARE the way teacher scold . Pray for my best . Yesterday , on the evening i walk back to school from my friend house , got a male teacher scolded me about my shirt , maybe he didn't got brain to think that the weather is damn HOT then my uniform is black in colour . He tell me that he want to meet my parents , just because my shirt . So ridiculous .  Well when i get back to home , i told my mom what happen , at first my mom scolded me , i just sit stood didn't say a word until now . I just keep silent all the time . I already say sorry to my mom but she just ignore me . After that on that night i chat with sonsyafeeq but he laugh at me . I hope he give me some word that will bust up my strength but he make my strength going down . I think i make a wrong decision in my life , hard to say . But everything already too late . Just forget about it . It's over . Myself is getting worse , no thing can save me . I just appreciate every moment in my life until that day .