Wednesday, December 7, 2011
What would you do if you saw that a friend had a piece of food stuck between his or her teeth?
Errrrr , do body language . idk .
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
It's a Joy
My oh my , i miss my bloggie like a lot peeps .
Oh crap , is my fault for no keeping update in bloggie for all the time but there's other things which is important for me so i put aside bloggie for a while .Where should i start to story ?
First , i gotta tell is there so much happening in my entire life for this year , for example meeting new friend which turn out be my best bud , i gain weight , my hair is grow longer and so on and so on .
On the month of june , 2011 , i get to knew with this guy name Asyraf which i used to call him till now "kilik" later i will tell why i call him like that . We been best bud for 5 month and a half . Now here the reason why i call him kilik which shown at below :
- He incredible funny .
- He fun to be with .
- He "satu kepala" with me .
Well that the reason .
Futhermore , my holiday school homework still halfway there but i will finish it in two weeks . Mark my word .
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Insecure
Dush dush dush , *wipping blog* .
Dearest Reader ,
How you all doing ? It's been so long "Flaws and Imperfections" blog , well is my bloggie which already been late update from the busy owner [busy schooling] . Most of all , i'm sorry for delay in update my blog but I wonder will there a person or someone keep track on my blog or read it ? Hopefully got since i'm not as smart as other girl in doing blog and my content maybe pretty bored for you all . But too bad I don't mind what you all think about my blog . I can say whatever I want . School holidays , will be start on 13 of November but try to guess what kind of holidays I will be having ? It will be a 'Homeworklidays' for me when teacher keep give task , holiday work and so on . What can I say , next year I will be sit for STPM thats why . And yet freedom I didn't gain yet until I done with STPM . Talking about school , let me story a bit about excel I had few past week ago , let me say is really tough but all I hope is I can get 2.5 pointer and above [is a must] . On 26 October , Leon passed away I really don't want to say what happen because I really sad when I think of Leon . Now Leon is rest in peace . My body weight seem dropping , I got eating issue . I didn't get enough of sleep as I used to be . This is all because for study all of the form six subject . Hopefully my effort will give me a good outcome . How's my life ? Hmm , is pretty cool and steady . Nothing ordinary just deja vu everyday but I still feeling insecure all the time and I don't know why and yet have faith and believe it .
Dearest Reader ,
How you all doing ? It's been so long "Flaws and Imperfections" blog , well is my bloggie which already been late update from the busy owner [busy schooling] . Most of all , i'm sorry for delay in update my blog but I wonder will there a person or someone keep track on my blog or read it ? Hopefully got since i'm not as smart as other girl in doing blog and my content maybe pretty bored for you all . But too bad I don't mind what you all think about my blog . I can say whatever I want . School holidays , will be start on 13 of November but try to guess what kind of holidays I will be having ? It will be a 'Homeworklidays' for me when teacher keep give task , holiday work and so on . What can I say , next year I will be sit for STPM thats why . And yet freedom I didn't gain yet until I done with STPM . Talking about school , let me story a bit about excel I had few past week ago , let me say is really tough but all I hope is I can get 2.5 pointer and above [is a must] . On 26 October , Leon passed away I really don't want to say what happen because I really sad when I think of Leon . Now Leon is rest in peace . My body weight seem dropping , I got eating issue . I didn't get enough of sleep as I used to be . This is all because for study all of the form six subject . Hopefully my effort will give me a good outcome . How's my life ? Hmm , is pretty cool and steady . Nothing ordinary just deja vu everyday but I still feeling insecure all the time and I don't know why and yet have faith and believe it .
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011
This could not be good , you tell me .
I freaking can't sleep now even eyes damn heavy now but still the brain feeling fresh . If I didn't get this sleep even for few hour , for sure tomorrow morning my eyes will be a panda eyes . Some more , later at 3am I need to wake up and study again . Well this is the life of pre U , says hello to it . Even I get myself to this far or point , I never feel regret for making this choice . Instead I just try my best to get the great result . I got my very own purpose now which is strongly will make myself stand on and keep on studying . Actually , sometime some of it still in mind but just move on . Meet the brand new me . Guess , I suggest my mum that I want to cut my hair short , she like ' HAH , jgn la ptg syg rmbut ' and I reply ' ma , gurau je la ' and she like ' u ar ' and I just laugh . See , my mum scare when I say what to cut my hair short , same with my cousin and friend . Haha , kinda funny actually . Now , is 10:44pm going try to sleep .
P/S : Have faith to give the best answer for tomorrow exam .
P/S : Have faith to give the best answer for tomorrow exam .
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Super Girl
This week is exam week . Chill , don't stress out amanda you can do it . Today , school guess what for every monday for pre U student need wait wait not need but must wear blazzer if go to toilet , canteen or where , only except in class no need to wear . Phew , because of that I keep sweating all day long . But just hold on for 1 year and a half . Pre U seem pretty nice for me , I get along well with the chinese and most of my friend is chinese . Until the malay think I prefer be friend with chinese , what you guys think is wrong . Don't get wrong with me , I friend with all human kind . Haha xD well , go to go . My schelude is super duper tight as you know . Just ask if curious .
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Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Five October
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Oh no , Leon ='[
From the above picture , perhaps you will recognize that .
The incident sound like this on 14 September 2011 , and i'm not sure what the time is . My beloved pet , Leon and Leila been attacked , and i still don't know what creature attack it . For what i pretty sure is , won't be dog that attack it because if is dog sure will be barking but silent at all . Unfortunately for Leila , it been eaten half of it body and as for Leon , above picture is leon right leg been bitten .
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Beginner
It start now , all the activity that need to be manage by form 6 student and i'm one of them . The first activity will be the Alam Sekitar project . And guess what the teacher like to mention my name and made me involve in make banner use recycle item . Everyday just study and do homework so that i can keep on my track . Tomorrow during MUET , there will be random public speaking , each person with different topic *sigh . My life been busy but not all the time , i busy by adding activity in my daily life include weekends . I enjoy with what i up to . My life just being cool for now , no more negative things . Just positive . But still i haven't have the answer for my prayer but i still will wait patiently . God please , show me the way and answer .
Friday, July 1, 2011
Deeper
Fuhhhhhhh !
It's been a few month be in form six , being comfort with the subject because most of the teacher that teach us with enjoy way but only micro teacher make us sleepy a bit . So far all my homework and study is stable enough . But if come about quiz , I start my engine during teacher ask and let my brain connect then only answer it .
Ahhhhhhh !
I'm gain too much weight but my face and body slowly get chubby , I think i'm just 'berat tulang' , haha poor me but mum said nevermind just eat all you can . And guess what , i'm become food lover , when talk with friend just talk about food and drinks . Beside that , I still need to wait for 3 month for the result .
P/S : Everyday pray for the same thing .
It's been a few month be in form six , being comfort with the subject because most of the teacher that teach us with enjoy way but only micro teacher make us sleepy a bit . So far all my homework and study is stable enough . But if come about quiz , I start my engine during teacher ask and let my brain connect then only answer it .
Ahhhhhhh !
I'm gain too much weight but my face and body slowly get chubby , I think i'm just 'berat tulang' , haha poor me but mum said nevermind just eat all you can . And guess what , i'm become food lover , when talk with friend just talk about food and drinks . Beside that , I still need to wait for 3 month for the result .
P/S : Everyday pray for the same thing .
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Friday, June 24, 2011
Way to go
Yeah , finally I make it as I pray for . Thanks God for granted my prayer that I pray everyday and this make me keep on being strong more that ever , you give me the strength to go through every challege of life . For now , be silent so won't make up problem or mistake , only talkactive during presentation at school . The life for now , no lies , got biggest secret ever , no fake . Just got original , ordinary and unique . Guess what , I will be joining the Interact Club , perhaps from there I can meet more new friends . Another thing is I will be apply for sponsorship to study at oversea .
P/S : Reader and viewer , please pray for me especially my health condition and the application that I had apply ( i'm not begging for sympathy )
P/S : Reader and viewer , please pray for me especially my health condition and the application that I had apply ( i'm not begging for sympathy )
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Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Everyday
Everyday life , let start with school , yes i'm now a form six student and i can't even imagine i aim for STPM studied . So far i get along well in this studied and stable enough with the homework and etc. When come to presentation especially for MUET subject i'm the one do most of the work , so unfair . Enough with form six , not much to say . Next is life , the life i having know is so far so good but the other part only God know about it . I'm still live it up with strength . Now everyday become my prayer , and everyday i pray for the question in my head which i don't know what is the answer until now i haven't get the right answer but i will wait patiently .
Stomach make sound .
That's all for tonight , got before post i say i want to talk about Angry Bird right but need more time for it . i been busy with school stuff , perhaps tomorrow i will talk about it .
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Free run
There's i go at night,
keep running from things that i can't run away from,
being strong or weak,
strong will be my choice,
but still heavy heart,
but things will change,
what will happen next,
no one can predict,
everyday is a new day,
full with bless,
get the strength,
start a life.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
School
Hell yeah , finally i had to decide to move on with form six and drop my foundation corse . Just wish that form six is better pathway for me , so why not i go for it and accomplish it .
Tomorrow school re-open , here come the homework and assignment high like mountain , seem that i need to kick my butt to work more harder than before . Even still lot of pressure , i wish i still can release some of my pressure in brain .
Oh by the way , my hairdresser ask me to cut my hair to short and i was like whoa , that's not gonna happen , well the short hair that he recommend to me is indeed cute and suit with my face and perhaps make me look chubby a bit . But no no no , i won't cut my hair to short . I prefer let my hair grow till my waist and wait for my bangs same grow to my shoulder . That's my goal for hair .
Now most of my spare time , i do karaoke and searching for new trick for bloggie . Other than that , i still finding for new recipe in baking and cooking . Yeah , i still have the heart of learning something or making something new . I just never getting tired or bored of it . Please faster come the season of durian , i want to make homemade durian cheese cake . If this season already arrive , do tell me .
P/S : Stay tune for the next post , it will be a post about Angry Bird
Tomorrow school re-open , here come the homework and assignment high like mountain , seem that i need to kick my butt to work more harder than before . Even still lot of pressure , i wish i still can release some of my pressure in brain . Oh by the way , my hairdresser ask me to cut my hair to short and i was like whoa , that's not gonna happen , well the short hair that he recommend to me is indeed cute and suit with my face and perhaps make me look chubby a bit . But no no no , i won't cut my hair to short . I prefer let my hair grow till my waist and wait for my bangs same grow to my shoulder . That's my goal for hair .
Now most of my spare time , i do karaoke and searching for new trick for bloggie . Other than that , i still finding for new recipe in baking and cooking . Yeah , i still have the heart of learning something or making something new . I just never getting tired or bored of it . Please faster come the season of durian , i want to make homemade durian cheese cake . If this season already arrive , do tell me .
P/S : Stay tune for the next post , it will be a post about Angry Bird
Pressure
What the hack ? I thought i can further study to where i wanna be . But guess what , unlucky for me parents change their mind not to let me further study and ask me to stay in form six . I'm really disappointed because i want to study at Inti so badly . Everything is now crash *sigh . Form six is really hard for me , the homework heavy much , just too much need to carry . My brain had enough pressure . Parents thought form six is easy but actually not . They thought form six is easier than foundation course . If i can't get great result in my STPM , also same i can't further study to bachelor level . Arggghhhh , feel really sad right now 
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Let see this .
Adelson Teu , i found more and more animation . Don't be jealous okey ? I sure will teach you :]
P/S : If need tutorial on this , just comment or pm me yaw
P/S : If need tutorial on this , just comment or pm me yaw
Monday, June 6, 2011
Seeking
Hello darling blog . It's been a long time , i didn't update you . Here we go , today is monday . Plan for today , haven't got plan because most of my friend go work and already leave to further study . During july or august , i maybe will be going to the land below to wind to study at there . The truth is i feel can't hold on form six , is really hard for me . I decide to go for foundation in business technology , this perhaps better choice for me . How's my life , still learning and taking baby step to ease away the foolish of me . Changing lifestyle and some part of me . But still it need time to do so , i'm pretty sure it will turn out good for myself . Friends indeed are better and is the second best person . Reader in blog become less or perhaps there's no more reader . Still i will keep on update blog .
Monday, May 23, 2011
Days
Been few days and weeks , myself seem still fighting the way out . I'm happy go lucky for now . Got word that I wish to say in here but I can't . How possible for me to forget the nice moment that had happen in my life journey . How possible for me to leave , I can't I won't . Important thing and moment in my life , I will remember it forever . I keep everything in a book for writing and box for keep things . I will never lose every second of my nice moments . He keep say ' time will heal or cure ' , I do believe that . In the mean time , there's still several things that hardly for me to get off from mind . I can't stop . Readers , come and slap my face to fire up my strength . Readers , you been so loyal by viewing my blog to see got new story or new picture or not . I love my readers . Thanks for being loyal to my blog . I'm sorry if i'm being sad or being foolish .
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Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Unspoken Words
Too many word , thought and feeling that can't be speak out and describe out . Mind that should be calm down , suddenly surround by unwanted thought same go with the feeling . You never know , actually nobody will know . These people seem happy or cheerful at outside but the truth inside only God know how it feel . Tears ? Only let it out when the right time arrive . I thought is easy to pass all this , but actually not really for me but i'm still trying to get out of this nightmare . But i still manage to create myself back , one part of me only be back again which is the gamer side , the others part still searching and creating back . It eat a lot of time to make it back to pieces again . Now i learn new lesson about life which may help me to get out of this nightmare . Love ? Only love of God , family and friends . The truth of me , only God and myself know about it . Last night , he say he already make decision to change our name like last year , you know how heavy is my heart to hear it and to go and change it . Only God , how pain when i change the name . Left blog , i haven't change but i won't change a bit about the blog . Let the memories be in blog .
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Alexithymia
Meaning , difficulty describing feelings to other people .
Yeah , i'm having that kind of problem now . Sometime tell , sometime don't . But still tell . Even if i tell , maybe people or person hardly to understand but nevermind i just keep it in myself and is hard but i done it . Even sometime the feeling come back but i still manage to control it .
I miss put the Book . Oh my God , how could i miss put it ? Some more i need that Book so much because i write everything inside of it . But nevermind about it , now i just start to collect novel yesterday i bought a novel "The Book of Tomorrow" , this novel is kinda suit me and my life . So far i kinda like it .
Yeah , i'm having that kind of problem now . Sometime tell , sometime don't . But still tell . Even if i tell , maybe people or person hardly to understand but nevermind i just keep it in myself and is hard but i done it . Even sometime the feeling come back but i still manage to control it .
I miss put the Book . Oh my God , how could i miss put it ? Some more i need that Book so much because i write everything inside of it . But nevermind about it , now i just start to collect novel yesterday i bought a novel "The Book of Tomorrow" , this novel is kinda suit me and my life . So far i kinda like it .
Stay tune for the next post from me .
Sunday, May 8, 2011
For you and me .
Today , in the afternoon he bring me along to his classmate birthday at tawau citi club . I'm so glad because he bring me along . But most of the time when in car , I show a feeling which I should not show because he dislike when I in that feeling . Actually i'm not sad but touched because we can hang out again . When you said my face look dissapointed because I want to spend more time with you but that time so limit so I need to understand . Adelson , i'm sorry for be in that kind feeling . I promise will be happy like I used to be . I will . One more , please don't ignore me . When you ignore me , it's hurt in heart . Maybe I can't not contact with you in one day or more . Perhaps I can't and i'm sorry . Just that I miss you , that's why .
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Saturday, May 7, 2011
I hate this feeling , this feeling keep coming back to me and i already put it aside and get rid but it still appear in my heart . What should i do ? This feeling really hurt me and my mind , i don't want to have this feeling but why it keep coming back . It's hard to get rid of it , and once again i need to get rid of it . I need much more effort to get rid of it . Maybe is true with what i read in article , the deepest feeling is hard to get rid of , at first can get rid but when wanna keep on get rid it become more hard to get rid . But nevermind , i still will try to get red of it .
Mom's Day
Tomorrow is Mother's Day .
Yeah , i love you mummy . You're the perfect mummy for me , you're always there for me when i was happy , sad or sick . You always be by my side , help me with something new like cooking , do housework . And because of you , i become more mature in life and work . You the one teach me since i was born , teach me how to read , write and potty train . Without you , mummy i can't be a grow up girl , sure i still like a blank paper don't how to do this and that . Thanks you , mummy for your love and care to me . I really appreciate and proud to have a mummy like you . Here by i wanna wish you Happy Mother's Day to you and all the mom in the universe .
Yeah , i love you mummy . You're the perfect mummy for me , you're always there for me when i was happy , sad or sick . You always be by my side , help me with something new like cooking , do housework . And because of you , i become more mature in life and work . You the one teach me since i was born , teach me how to read , write and potty train . Without you , mummy i can't be a grow up girl , sure i still like a blank paper don't how to do this and that . Thanks you , mummy for your love and care to me . I really appreciate and proud to have a mummy like you . Here by i wanna wish you Happy Mother's Day to you and all the mom in the universe .
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Screw up
Blogging here again . Everyday just face blog , update blog , thinking what to post . Today , nothing extraordinary happen , just deja vu things . He still haven't reply text or text me but still i'm waiting for him to text or call . I never get tired of waiting , perhaps he mad or piss off because of me about the cheat engine but i didn't meant to no tell him about it but didn't prove that i'm lied . I just didn't tell , please don't get mad . And please don't ignore me . It feels hurt when you ignore me and when you didn't reply my text . I'm begging here , please forgive me and i really sorry from bottom of my heart . I know what you feel last night and now but i didn't meant to make you feel that way . This is all my fault for you feeling like that and i'm sorry . I really want us be good again and like used to be . Please we don't argue again . I hate if we argue each other . For not telling you is my fault and i won't repeat the same mistake . Please forgive me ;(
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
First of all , i didn't mean to lie or not to tell you because i care your feeling thats why i don't want to tell . And about the cheat engine , i didn't mean not to tell but is just about hack for game please don't be so mad or piss off . I didn't tell because i'm not sure the cheat engine will work in DDTank in Facebook or not . I wanna make sure first it work or not , if work then only i tell . It work on DDTank website as i know . I'm not a liar , i didn't have the heart to lie you , is true from my heart . You must believe me . I'm sorry for not to tell you because myself also not sure about it . What if i tell you then suddenly it didn't work out sure you will piss off . Once again , i'm sorry ;(
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Relieve
Today , is the third of May . Time pass so fast , just now at afternoon is my JPJ Test for the second time and finally i pass it next i need to wait for my license P , perhaps within this week . Next task will be my LCCI Exam , dizzy much keep thinking about this exam , revision and blah blah blah . I just have to pray hard and study hard to pass it . Now every morning i need to face the same fact and dilemma again and again , i having trouble with the appetite in the early morning , but when come to afternoon i become a super big eater again . I try not to addict with any pills . Hope that i can gain weight and get chubby in healthy way . I may seem weak to your guys but i'm strong enough to settle with everything . Next monday i'm going to somewhere after i register into form 6 and i will miss few of my book keeping classes , oh no i'm dead because teacher will do revision . Then no class replacement . Seem that i need to revision on my own . With love , bebe !
Monday, May 2, 2011
Undefined
First of all , he tell me that i got being offer in lower six at Smk Tawau . Thanks for informing me , i appreciate your kindness . So , i will be going to register on 9 May at 9 in the morning with full set of school uniform . Why this is hard for me ? Seem like got something messing with me , not human being . Like something keep trick my mind and feeling . Don't disturb me , i won't follow . No wonder this lately i keep dream about death , sure is monster give me nightmare like those . I hate it , just because of it i think death near me . Stop playing with me . Can't you just let me calm down . Do monster really want me die then only stop playing or trick with me ? I begging please stop . Tomorrow will attend my JPJ test for license and hope this time i can pass . And my LCCI exam will be coming in 1 month and teacher give us lot of homework . Stress out man . But for our own good also . I'm trying to be happy go lucky person , almost everytime or every where i sing sing sing , didn't care surrounding but just sing . My sing mood is on left game mood haven't on *sigh . Life life life , please don't too hard on me . I will get burn if too hard . Next , i really awkward this lately because i become super big eater , is there something wrong inside of me . Because i seldom become a big eater unless i accomplish task but now i didn't accomplish anything yet . What's happening to me ?
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Attitude
Talking about attitude , is my attitude actually . This lately i easily get angry with small matter , it seem that i need to change to less angry . If about my sensitive , is in my blood actually so it mean hard for me to change my natural attitude but i just will try the best to be not easily be sensitive . I'm feeling that he start to keep far distance from me , even we are best buddy but sometime i feel alone and lonely . In that time , i don't know what to do and only know wait text or call from him . See , i'm get used to it . Don't blame me for me being like this . But still i try my best to be the cheerful one like i always be . This year been a though year for me , sometime i almost hardly to pass through but i just slowly pass . In life , we can't predict what will coming next or happen next and i learn my lesson to get ready for every possibilities . God will never give us the challenge that hard for us to settle or pass through . I getting up with my own feet even my life kinda reckless but i can still be happy . Even i'm a cry baby and like sit at the corner of my room , doesn't mean i can't live it up . I know got people hate me do like that , but i change . I don't want be weak anymore . I'm not a loser . I born as a fighter and will fight as a fighter . I believe in faith .
12:28am
I'm still healing myself . Guess that myself can't accept all fact that happening to me , is hard for me . But for him , he's make it out and be normal for several days . I just say to him , that i will live life without feeling sad , but i know i can't do so but i just try my best . I'm so sensitive that's why hard for me , unlike him so easy heal because he don't love me too much or perhaps no love at all . He said that i can still know more about him but he just lied . All the word during the day when i'm in pain and hurts , all the word he said maybe just to comfort me and didn't meant it . He said he won't tired or bored making me be like i used to be but seem that he tired or bored say the same things , he didn't meant it from heart . All just to comfort me , just to make me okay . Then when i feel okay , he start to change . All the powerful word or sentence , he didn't meant it . This make me hurt much and cry again , i thought by seeing he say like that or do like that i will be okay but after i know all the word back meaning , i feel hopeless again . He just pity toward me . He didn't really want to help me Perhaps religion different , thats why he treating me differently . Am i'm worst for him to treat me like this ? I thankful for knowing him and i never regret for knowing him . He good for me . Even the way he treat me which make me hurt , i don't mind at all because that's him .
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Heart Attack , can't hold on any longer . Rather die than feeling this pain . Monster come and take my life away . Hurt enough inside of me and seem only my biffle care what I feel . He doesn't look at me at all or love me or care me . He act that i'm not exist anymore . I can't be so long by feeling this pain . This pain is out of control . I can't heal . I'm calling you and come here to take away my life . After tonight . . .
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What to do and what to say ?
Outta my mind . I only pray at here and hoping everything will turn out right between us . Already been 2 days we didn't contact . Perhaps he prefer ignoring me . I didn't think too much . I didn't ignore , I got text him yesterday but he didn't reply me . I try to be patient like I always do . What I hate is when night come and time to sleep , heart start to beat more faster and the effect make chest pain . I'm depressed , that's why . I got try to calm down , indeed calm down but only awhile then here it happen again and again . I do eat , drink , sleep like I always do . I share my feeling and thought at blog . Everytime express , I start to cry and cry . Yes , i'm a cry baby . Nobody care right ? Maybe he don't need me , love me and care me anymore . This too hard for me . I can't get alive with this feeling . Yes , outside is still alive but not inside .
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Monday, April 25, 2011
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