Akiey , my bro .

 I call him Akiey . He call me Mimi because he said that his full name is Mohd Tarmimi . We knew each other since 2007 , knew at Friendster then move on to YM . We been friend for a few year . We only meet face to face only once , at that time we went for a movie . He no much talking , he just be quiet all the time . He said he love his voice that why's he be quiet . His favorite song is Bring Me the Horizon - Chelsea Smile . His favorite color is black and white . He's a Smoker but he seldom smoke and i can live with that even i hate smoker . Don't say that he is EMO or INDIE because he say that EMO = NOOB and he didn't like INDIE at all . He not EMO or INDIE but he's METAL . His birthday is on 5 February 1989 . He cheer me up even through he is lazy to typing . He love to play DOTA , i think he's addicted to it . But nevermind as long he didn't forget me . He's a sleepy head . He's become chubby now . OMG ! I wanna pitch him . He said he want to cut his hair but lazy . His reason only got one that is LAZY . My lazy brother .

Frust

Hey blog ! Long time no update , i miss my blog . Already been 5 days didn't update my blog . Now i will update and for the reader i'm sorry for not update my blog for a few day got family events . I'm suffering for these few days because i got a lot of problem , problem with son , problem with my sickness , problem about next year *sigh . . I think a lot at night that's why i can't sleep . Think about myself , son , study and much more .. I can't stop my own brain from thinking , it just keep thinking *sigh . Now the new problem is son didn't reply my message and answer call from me for 4 days include today . I can't think what is son reason for doing that . And what he do is making me suffer and lost my direction . I'm all alone again , no smile when i wake up , no one say good night or sweet dream to me , ask me to eat my medicine , ask about my health and the mostly i miss is no one call me MUMMY SEPET anymore . That make me sad =(  but i must be patient . . Now i and son don't know as what relationship . I totally BLUR . Allah , help me ! When i'm my dad workplace , i eat a lot of durian and i got a high fever but i didn't care much about my fever , just let it be LOL . Then i save some durian because i want to make durian cake . YUMMY ! I'm quite big eater but hard for me to get fat .. hehe ! Dunno why . Kind of freak . But what didn't i care . On Christmas Day , me and my family went to Lahad Datu , my mom buy one short sleeves t-shirt for me , is a Starbucks Tee . I totally love it . Thank Q , mom ! I'm totally lost now , i can't be the person that when son in my daily life . He's the one raise my strength . Now when i need son , he's didn't there for me . My heart is totally broken , i can't fix that anymore . No need for me to fix my heart anymore because i'm already half-dead and i'm dying . I'm so lonely . No one comfort me . Just now on 7.15p.m. i went to watch movie 'AVATAR' with my cousin and that movie is interesting . On monday in the afternoon , son will go back to KK . How i'm gonna contact with son ? Son , please reply my message or answer my call , i begging you =( . I know you read my text message , i can feel that . Just please reply my message , everyday i searching for you . I got something need to say to you . Don't make me like this , i already enough suffer . You knew i was sick and everyday need to eat medicine to stop the pain . So please reply my message .  

Clean

Today i go to clean Uncle Din ( Teacher Samsuddin ) house because he and his wife coming back from Teregganu . He buy for me and my mom three cloth , those pattern of cloth so nice and awsome . Thank Q , uncle ! Can't wait to make baju kurung for next year . What a day *sigh , i'm so tired but i want to sleep but can't . I swept the floor , mop the floor and do laundry . While i swept the floor , on the floor got a lot dead cockroaches ewwww so nasty ... After mop the floor , my mom ask me to do laundry then bask under the very hot sun . After finish bask the laundry , i get some novel from the rack , the novel is quite interesting , the novel is about a girl that have to choose between two guys . I used to be in that situation but already be history LOL . 

The first photo is i'm in the car , on the way to fetch my aunty then went to town get some lunch .

The second picture is after bath , waiting for my mom finnish showered .

By the way , i miss son damn much !

i want to meet you , SON ! When we gonna meet ?

Then soon son will going back to KK .

i gonna miss you everyday !

Remember that my darling !

Don't you be naughty when already at KK .

i love u

Dancing Stars

As into your eyes I longingly gaze,
Like looking into the stars above,
Such dazzling beauty does ever amaze,
The stars, they dance, cause I'm in love.

As onto your sweet lips I gently kiss thee,
Tasting a fruit that seems forbidden,
You unleash bonds that set me free,
Awaken emotions that long were hidden.

And as into your bosom I find rest,
A sanctuary for my tumultuous soul,
I certainly count myself among the blessed,
To have found the one that makes me whole.

And throughout this universe I dare to say,
There is not another that could my heart so sway.

Dedicated For SyafeeQ

I awake each day with a smile
And greet it with a laugh;
The world is a treasure to me
Because of you.

Every time I think of something sad,
I replace the thought- with you!
My mind is instantly changed
And my heart is filled with gladness.

Every breath I take is meant for you,
I live this life surrounded in joy
And I bathe in the promise of your love,
My soul belongs to you.

Each time I see something beautiful
I want to take it and bring it to you;
My life has so much meaning now
All because of you.

Sleep Problem

This few night i can't sleep well . This is all because my sickness . Because of my sickness , all over my body is in totally pain . I just keep punching my chest and hope the pain will stop . But the pain keep coming , i just can't stand it , i feel i just like half-dead . ☠ . Later i blog again about this title . Keep reading my blog yeah .. Hope you like my story in my blog . 

Spread The Love

 Yay .. Spread the love and new picture !

Those picture is today .

The first picture is at my dad workplace behind house .

The second picture is at room , that time i'm getting ready to BBQ , that's night was so fun .

Got new story for my blog again ..

HOORAY FOR ME !

The very first story that i want to blog about is SON .

Finally i found the place for me to share happiness and sadness .

That is with SON .

He's the one that i need in my lifetime . He's the key to my heart .

and

he will be my soul mate till forever if my age is long enough .

Currently i'm listening to Justin Bieber - One Time .

You should listen to that song . His voice so sweet and amazing .

I love that song damn much !

SON is MINE ♥ 

Shine

 AMANDA is a TWINKLING STAR

 ★ i love star ★

The End and Come Back

END OF AMANDA OLD LIFESTYLE

and

COME BACK OF AMANDA NEW LIFESTYLE

TrueLove

Hah ?? What truelove mean ??? true love is permanent love . permanent love mean love till forever . For me true love is a wonderful thing , in my old life i feel true love for 426 days then things started not working good somethings make the true love end . Then i suffer for 1 month cry and cry and i'm totally shocked and i feel my heart is gone no inside my body . I'm totally lost and break like a wave . At that time i thought my heart will never heal again but after few month , i bump up with a person in FB .  Then we started to chat suddenly i feel happy again . I feel happy with him , easily to talk with him , no control when taking to him , laugh hardly and much more .. For a long time i never feel like that after that stupid day . I feel so alive again . He totally save my heart from broken forever . Because of him i can heal back my heart , he's the one open my eyes , open my mind , open my heart and make me realize that no use for me keep suffer for that stupid guy . I break up with my BF , because he never call or text me a message and only hope that me will call or message him . Is suck ! By the way i already delete my FS account forever and i will only use FB . I already found my happiness back , my happiness with SON .

p/s : Son , i love you !

Day

Each day , i count the day is become less and less . I scare of that day will come to me . Every i wake up , i think if i'm still alive or not , is kind of freak right ?? hehe .. but i'm like that . Dunno why .. Every night i think and think about my life and my worst nightmare that started from when i'm still a child . That nightmare won't leave my mind ... HELP !!!!!

Gonna Again

OMG ! I'm gonna miss my childhood friend , my bestie , my bf , son . Because tomorrow i go to my dad workplace again and sleep at there for a few day . Gonna bored again .. huhu =( ...That thing hunt my mind again , the same nightmare i get last night , i keep screaming and cry a lot because i scare of that thing and no one at that time to hug me and calm me down . I'm just a girl with a lost hope . Don't know la what people think about me . For me i'm a FREAK GIRL . I started to find new thing to fulfill my empty mind . My family , my bestie , my study , my bf and son already set in my mind . Son always cheer me up and make me laugh . He just like someone that i know long ago . Son attitude same as that someone . The way son talk to me , laugh , look at me is all same with that someone . But that someone already not exist in this world . So sad but now i got Son beside me all the time even we are far away but heart is near . Am i right ? 

Roses Number Meaning

1 Rose
Exceptional love all concentrated on you.

2 Roses
Two of us deeply in love.

3 Roses
I love you.

6 Roses
I want to be yours.

9 Roses
Love each other eternally.

11 Roses
You are the one I love most in my life.

12 Roses
Satisfactory union and mutual affinity.

13 Roses
Secret admirer.

24 Roses
Remember fondly every moment
(24 hours cannot forget you).

33 Roses
Saying “I love you” with PROFOUND LOVE.

36 Roses
Feeling romantic attachment because you come to me.

44 Roses
Constant unchangeable pledge.

50 Roses
This is “Regretless Love”.

56 Roses
My love.

66 Roses
Successful love affair.

99 Roses
Love with understanding makes love eternal.

100 Roses
Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple ’till ripe-old age.

101 Roses
No other love but you.

108 Roses
Please marry me!

111 Roses
Eternal love.

123 Roses
Free love.

144 Roses
Loving you day and night eternally.

365 Roses
Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday.

999 Roses
Everlasting and eternal love.

1001 Roses
Faithful love, ’till forever

White Rose

Primary Significance: Purity, Innocence, Sympathy, Spirituality

With its pristine appearance, the white rose has come to symbolize purity, innocence and secrecy. There are myths and legends from several different cultures relating to the origin of the first rose which is initially white in color and is then miraculously transformed. Oftentimes the pure white rose was depicted as being stained by blood, or made to blush from a kiss. The recurrence of this theme does a great deal to establish the white rose as a symbol for purity.

Early traditions also used white roses as a symbol for true love, an association which would later become the hallmark of the red rose. However, white roses continue to endure and retain their symbolism of innocence. White roses are now used to express a number of different sentiments.

Also known as the bridal rose, the white rose is a traditional wedding flower. In this sense, they are a representation of unity, virtue, and the pureness of a new bond of love. White roses are also a symbol for young love, which further strengthens the association, and makes them ideal for marriages. Bridal bouquets are often comprised of white roses and other white flowers.

White roses are also associated with honor and reverence, which makes them a fitting memorial for a departed loved one. Funeral and sympathy arrangements traditionally incorporate white roses as a part of the tribute. As a symbol of remembrance, the white rose represents heavenliness and is an expression of spiritual love and respect.

While most of the long-established meanings of white roses are still quite commonly used today, others have become less prevalent. White rosebuds, for example, are a traditional symbol for girlhood and carry an underlying message of one too young for love. While perhaps no longer falling into the realm of common knowledge, this is still very much a part of the language of roses.

White roses can mean many things to many different people. They can symbolize new beginnings, or be a sign of farewell. They can convey feelings of love, friendship, respect and hope. Underlying all of these messages is the impression of innocence and purity with which white roses are now synonymous. An arrangement of white roses is not only beautiful; it can carry a complexity that belies its simpler appearance. Whatever the reason white roses are given, it can be assured that they will be deeply appreciated by their recipient.

p/s : i love white rose so much ! i like go to the florist shop to find white rose . Don't know why , i just love to see white rose .

Hang Out and Chill Out

Hmmm .. got new story for my diary blog . Title is i hang out with my bestie ' JIEJIE ' and SON . It was the first time i meet face to face with Son , my stomach full of butterfly . So nervous . While waiting for Son to come me and my bestie went to KFC to have Cheesy Wedges . But after meet Son the butterfly already fly away , and start to talk like i use to be , no control just be myself . It was fun talking with Son , only laugh all the way . I like it . Son face so cute feel like just wanted to pitch his cheek but i scare .. I scare Son will mad at me if i pitch his cheek . We all three went to see movie ' TWILIGHT NEW MOON ' But that movie kind of boring but the wolf is so CUTE ! If i have a pet like that , it will be great . Before the arrive the show time movie , we went to E.P and walk and walk . On 2p.m. we back to cinema . On 4p.m we went to bakery shop , because i'm hungry then the pain in my chest is killing me . By the way , Son thank Q for the present that give to me , i love it so much .

My Mind

4 Days I didn't update my blog ... fuuuhhhh .. Actually me and my family went to my dad workplace and stay there for a few day . So bored , i just eat , drink , play PS2 , watch tv , listen to music , sit under tree , play text message and play with my cat . Everyday i do the same thing . When sun get down and moon come up , i can't sleep at all , sometimes i just sleep for 4 hour because i suffer for my sickness and painfulness . Then talk about my thinking , at night i think so much stuff . Sometimes think until tears come up , got VIRUS in my mind ... OHHH NO !!!! I think about my feeling , sickness and much more . Now i don't what i feel and what inside my heart , my feeling already messed up and that hurting me and drive me crazy and feel wanted to eat SLEEPING PILLS but i don't want to broke my promise then i decide don't take SLEEPING PILLS . I just punch my chest over and over again , i know that is pain but that the way to make me fell good . Why i should get a life like this ?? Sometimes i feel can't live it up and just wanted to give up . HELP ME ! I can't be myself like use to be .

This Sayings So Cute . What You Think ?

Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.

To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Life is like a dream and in the end, when you die, you pinch yourself and wake up and never dream again.

Love those who love you forget those who forget you.

To know me is to understand me, and to understand me is to love me.

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…..think of yourself as a beautiful monkey .

The worst person in this world is he who does not know who is GOD .

The only thing worse than getting your heart broken is breaking it yourself .

When all you think about is your one and only, you’ve found your only one

No ones afraid of heights, they are afaid of falling, no ones afraid of swimming they are afraid of drowning and no ones afraid of loving they are afraid of not being loved back.

No matter what they take from me they cant take my dignity.

Love is like a flower, if you dont know how to take care it will die.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched , they must be felt with the heart.

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the water washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.

Sayonara

YES !!! Hasta La Vista , my old life ! Now i build up a new life and tear down the old life . Finally , i can forget Mr.Panda but Son say that damn guy . hahaha ! The last thing to do is to burn mr.panda letter and picture . I can't wait to do that . I'm so happy !! After all this day , i waste my tear for Mr.panda . I learn that no use to cry because mr.panda will not come back and yet i don't need mr.panda anymore . Mr.panda betrayed my love and i hate it so much ! F**K MR.PANDA !

p/s : GET OUT OF MY MIND AND MY HEAD !

Sickness

Thank God ! Finally , i'm out of the hospital , hate the smell of the medicine , only make my head dizzy-wuzzy . Let me blogging about what happen to me , actually my sickness come back again . one night , my head suddenly become so hot and a strong pain than i never felt before . It was hurting me , i suffer badly . After few minute i can't wake up on my own , my body become so heavy then i pass out . My childhood friend sent me to the hospital , at the hospital my heart beat started to stop and i can't breath by myself . That what my childhood friend told me . But thank to god , i can breath by myself again and my heart beat start beating . Glad =) When Son know about that he started to panic and worry . hehe . Then my childhood friend start to scare him that he will lost me . hehe . Is kind funny =D . By the way , Son , i already know about your text message . hehe . Just chill Son . Don't worry . I know how you feel because you tell me . and I appreciate your kindness and your feeling . Glad that you beside me and give me advice . My gastric become worst , i scare something bad will happen to me that will make my life short . From now on , i want to enjoy every moment in my life , never gonna missed it . 

Every Part of Me

I feel like I'm a million miles away
From myself, more and more these days
I've been down so many open roads
But they never lead me home
And now I just don't know
Who I really am, how it's gonna be
Is there something that I can't see
I wanna understand

Maybe I will never be who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Or maybe who I am today
Ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be
Every part of me

So I'll try, try to slow things down
And find myself, get my feet back on the ground
It'll take time but I know I'll be alright
Cause nothing much has changed on the inside
It's hard to figure out how it's gonna be
Cause I don't really know now
I wanna understand

I don't wanna wait too long
To find out where I'm meant to belong
I've always wanted to be where I am today
But I never thought I'd feel this way