Happiness

I'm truly happy with my life now . I wish my life will be happy till the end of time . Now i feel better than before because i meet one new friend name Adel . He give me inspiration in life and study . He's form 6 student . We meet on Facebook . We been chat and chat and chat . Quiet fun having a friend like him and he always say me pelik tapi benar and unique . He been a good friend and we move our friendship to bestfriend . I totally appreciate our friendship , wish our friendship never end . He light up my life that what i love about . This year both of us facing big exam , i give him support and he give me support . That what friend do , right ? We been messaging in phone but never heard his voice , i wanted to hear but i scare . LOL ! When i texting with him , sure i will laugh and smile alone till my mom feel odd toward me . Haha . Quiet funny between me and him but only me and him know . Guess what ? I already got back all the pieces of old me . The one that smile and laugh all the time .

Addiction

Back to sleeping pills again .

.

No need to guilty . 

No need to worry .

So Close

Currently listening to So Close by Jon Mclaughin .




You're in my arms, and all the world is calm
The music playing on, for only two..
So close, together
And when I'm with you
So close, to feeling alive..
As life goes by,
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid my goodybe,
And never knew..
So close, was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I wanted,
Was to hold you, so close...
So close, to reaching
That famous happy end, and
Almost, believing,
This one's not pretend, and
Now you're, beside me
And look how far we've come..
So far, we are..so close...
Oh how could I face, the faceless days?
If I should lose you now..
We're..so close,
To reaching, that famous happy end, and
Almost, believing, this one's not pretend, and
Let's go on dreaming, for we know we are..
So close..
So close..
And still so far...

Confession

Finally , i already confess what i feel toward him . But it's okay if he didn't feel the same way like i do . I'm learning to accept the fate that i can't accept . He give me the best reason , study and facing big exam . Even that i also need to respect his decision . I feel like wanted to cry but i stop myself to cry . I cannot force people . I also don't like to force people . I  knew he is the right one but not like what i expected . So me and him just being best friend like usual . I appreciate our friendship . I know i should not fall in love to him but i just can't control my feeling . He light up my life and make me cheerful inside and outside . I never lies about my feeling and toward myself . With a heavy heart , i accept . Once again i failed . Amanda , be strong . I just gonna keep smiling and being cheerful where things getting better or getting worst . I hate what i feeling right now . Oh God , give me more strength .

IGNORED

IGNORE THOSE PICTURE OF GUY 

THEY NOT MY BELOVED ANYMORE

Riding solo

Yes . The title is riding solo . Wanna know ? No more love in me , i mean love to a man or guy . Hard to find a guy that love me for me and truly understand me . All the time , i being fool by guy but should i be thankful ? I patient enough for being fool by guy . I can't stand it anymore . Why some of guy think girl like a doll that they can play with . I just don't get it . For what they do that ? Such a bullshit . Arrgghh . . I'm tired of this kind of drama , just end it . I can't suffer anymore , i hurt enough , i stress enough . Stop it . Finally , i am solo again . There is no guy left for me , i guess . Maybe i just need to accept with open heart that the fact there is no right guy for me . My BFF already found their right man . Congrats for them , happy for you guys . From now on , i will not going to studio anymore , i'm sorry , PLUR . If i feel i wanted go to studio , i will call . I am just damn lonely right now or forever . All i do is pretend to smile and being cheerful . Yay right cheerful at outside of me but not inside of me . How could my life be so miserable ? I can't believe it . Is everything will be ok ? I don't think so . I didn't need people pity toward me because i never ask for any person sympathy . Never ! I can't find my love . I already lost hope . Just wishing toward the star is my hobby when i am sad . Who gonna cheer me up ? No one . Who gonna love me for me ? No one . I realize that i am all alone from now on . Maybe already my faith to be like this . I just need to accept it .


p/s - Totally sad and lonely =(

Farewell

Now , i will be less online if on school day . I will online on Saturday and Sunday . I will be busy for a while with my school stuff . But i will try my best to update my blog , tumblr , facebook , twitter . ASAP for sure .

Activated

FACEBOOK

FORMSPRING

TWITTER

TUMBLR

Website That I Use

My Facebook Acc . 

Add me =)

Amanda Bebe

or

babybebeamanda@yahoo.com

My Twitter Acc .

I like this website .

Follow me and I will follow you back =)

Search : BebeSepet.

Duhhh .

Hello mello =) Yay is me again blogging again . Actually i think of stop blogging but when my reader ask me not  to stop blogging then i must go on blogging . I am not weak person but i am a strong person . I will never fall down just because a stupid things . I just tired of all this drama , the same drama . Amanda , chill down girl . Start a new life babe . My holiday assignment not yet done , i kinda lazy to do it . I just know bake + blogging + eat , yes 3 in 1 . Haha =D Yeah , i love to bake but sadly my mum won't let me study about bake when i after SPM . But no need to worry , i already know how to bake . My life will be great because i got my friend and family beside me . I live for you my friends .

Rain falling down

Yeah , that's right rain is falling down it means tears falling down .

I will keep the pain and enjoy the smile .

Are you guys happy now for fooling me ?

Nightmare

My life is my worst nightmare ever . After the black history , my life is getting more worst . Could it get more worst at present or at the future . I just can't predict my life , boys just love to play me around and fool me around . Yay , i won't get over it but i will get used to it and guess what i do used to it . In boys eyes i am a doll for them . FCUK for them ! How dare you all , believe me you guys will get pay for what had you all done to me . I won't revenge for what you guys did , but i let Allah to give revenge for you guys . The feeling of regret won't shown up early but will shown up late . Now you happy and in the end tears falling down . Trust me because i know how it feel . You guys should be a shame , look at yourself so annoying . Once again thank you guys for fooling me again and again . For you guys information , i never ask for sympathy for anyone else . I can live it up without you guys . You guys just a bacteria in my life , so i am gonna kill you guys away . One more thing before i forget , me and boy relationship are officially over , yes is over forever . He lie to me about his status ( relationship ) Don't want to talk about it . Lastly me and boy are over .

BabyBoo

Last night i went to bed on 1:30 a.m. , i know is late . In the morning i wake up on 8 a.m. early right . So i didn't get enough my sleep and my eyes is getting an eyesbag just like a panda eye . Boy said ever cute if i be like that . Hee =D I am gonna get rid of my eyesbag , by get enough of sleep . Today is Sunday , is kind of bored for me because my baby boy not wake up yet so can't text with him . So i just stay at home with my little sister , i watch tv and she playing game in lappy . I just don't know what to do , such a bored day . In the morning and afternoon , i didn't eat much or drink much . I am so tired but i don't go to take a nap . I don't know why , freaky right ? *sigh . In the evening , me and my family go to aunt house to give back her blanket . Then , baby boy call me but sorry i can't answer your call because got my parents . After that , we start to text message and i told to baby boy that i will dinner at Pizza Hut then baby boy said wanna meet for 5 minute or more and i said okey . After i arrive at Pizza Hut , i text him . So i go to outside to meet him but my brother follow me , So we meet in his car , his face so chubby . Just make me wanna bite his cheek . Gggrrrr ! He go for a spin at town , we started to talk and talk . While my brother go to buy phone credit , he immediately hold my hand , i just shocked at that time . His smell , i still can smell on my hand , so soft . He is so sweet . Even we just meet for a couple minute but i appreciate it and glad that can meet with him . If can tomorrow i wanna meet him again but in the evening . I miss him damn much ! I love him damn much !

A Guy Name Boy

He's the one name Boy . He's older than me for two year . Even we didn't know long each other but it seems like we easily work it out i mean chat , talk , understand each other and something else . I glad that because i know a person like him . Hard to find a person like him . For me , he the kind of sweet boy , caring , loving and a honest person . From his look , his at the stage of cuteness that what i think and what my heart say about him  . Once again i falling in love . I just can't believe that all of this is true and happening to me . I thought i won't fall in love again but i was wrong . Yes , i falling in love to him . I hope he feel the same way like i do .

 

Speak in Both

OK ! Here we go .
Patutkah seorang kawan tinggalkan seorang kawan lagi disebabkan berkawan baik dengan bekas teman lelakinya ? Bagi saya , itu perbuatan paling tak masuk akal . Saya betul betul geram dengan perempuan itu . Saya sudah bagi penjelasan dan minta maaf biarpun saya tahu saya tak bersalah . Kalau saya yang jadi awak pasti saya maafkan dan tak akan marah marah atau bergaduh disebabkan lelaki . Kalau awak marah-marah atau bergaduh disebabkan lelaki , bila lelaki itu dapat tahu dia pasti jadi bangga . What a stupidity !

Then . .

Si lelaki pula macam kurang ajar . Minta tolong sikit pun tak boleh . Kedua-duanya lupa budi dan lupa kawan .
Bila kamu berdua masih bercouple amd hubungan kamu ada masalah , kamu berdua terus cari saya dan minta tolong . Tapi bila giliran saya kamu lupa kawan and kata saya yang bukan-bukan . Saya tak akan cakap yang saya menyesal ada kawan seperti kamu . Yang saya akan cakap ialah kamu berdua akan dapat balasannya .

E to the N to the D

La fin de moi

F to the U to the C to the K

Hey girl , i am not kawan makan kawan or kawan tikam belakang .
What make you say like that about me ? Me and him just friend is that wrong ?
If you think is wrong just say it out and tell me then i will stop being friend with him .
We been friend together , i won't do things that will make you mad or hurt . 
I am truly sorry .

Rest in peace or ?  My life keep breaking down , some of my friend hate me , mad at me . I don't what to do , i just know to say sorry to them . Arggghhh ! Damn it , let me die faster . I just want to end the pain inside of me . By the way i think my left ear got tumor , i can feel it but i don't want go to check my ear . I rather suffer my pain than heal . My life is meaning - less , you know why people or friend already change , don't know because of what . I can't feel the love from my friend now not like old time .  I feel very down , no one will comfort me , love me , care me . People play me like a doll . Yeah for those people i am a doll not a human being . I didn't realize that some people truly appreciate me , love me , care me . Where can find a person that can love me , appreciate me , care me truly ? Hard  to find a person like that . Still wishing toward the wishing star .

Scare then Scream

Screamo ! School holiday is around the corner , will i enjoy thee holiday ? I don't think so . I didn't have people to enjoy with or spend with . Maybe i just stay at home at hit the laptop and online and blogging , yeah i love blogging damn much . Now i more to blogging now then online at Facebook . Because in Facebook , no one chat with and people ignoring me . Yeah i know i invisible in everybody eyes . Maybe i will lose my friend one by one because i hurt someone feeling for what i said ' better i stay away from your life , because you love other girl and that will hurt me' Because of that he angry with me , he's the first boy i met who is so sensitive than me . I'm totally shock but i accept him as my best buddy . But don't know will he still be my buddy after i said like that but i already apologize to him and he forgive me but after he forgive me it seem that he regret for knowing me , don't want be friend with me , ignoring me . I'm so sorry =( I truly don't want to lose you , supermanjaboy !

This holiday i will go for a treatment about my health in my body . You know people have sickness must go for a medical check up . I know that my sickness is almost got and need not to eat medicine anymore . But just for safety to go for the doctor . No need wish me luck because there will be no one to support and wish me . What a pity girl am i . I hate this but is my idea . i guess ?

Will be anybody can change the way i feel about myself ? I don't think so . Everybody abandon me . Such a pity . Nevermind , maybe i am dying soon that's why people abandon and keep ignoring me .

=(

REGRET - NESS

EMPTY - HEART

BROKEN - ONE