My Mind

4 Days I didn't update my blog ... fuuuhhhh .. Actually me and my family went to my dad workplace and stay there for a few day . So bored , i just eat , drink , play PS2 , watch tv , listen to music , sit under tree , play text message and play with my cat . Everyday i do the same thing . When sun get down and moon come up , i can't sleep at all , sometimes i just sleep for 4 hour because i suffer for my sickness and painfulness . Then talk about my thinking , at night i think so much stuff . Sometimes think until tears come up , got VIRUS in my mind ... OHHH NO !!!! I think about my feeling , sickness and much more . Now i don't what i feel and what inside my heart , my feeling already messed up and that hurting me and drive me crazy and feel wanted to eat SLEEPING PILLS but i don't want to broke my promise then i decide don't take SLEEPING PILLS . I just punch my chest over and over again , i know that is pain but that the way to make me fell good . Why i should get a life like this ?? Sometimes i feel can't live it up and just wanted to give up . HELP ME ! I can't be myself like use to be .