Perhaps will stop posting in blog for few days . For reader , please be patient .

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Going to end my life by follow the monster .

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Everything destroy . Dead will be the choice .

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Nose bleeding , great .

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I'm weak and i'm a cry baby .

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Heart Attack , can't hold on any longer . Rather die than feeling this pain . Monster come and take my life away . Hurt enough inside of me and seem only my biffle care what I feel . He doesn't look at me at all or love me or care me . He act that i'm not exist anymore . I can't be so long by feeling this pain . This pain is out of control . I can't heal . I'm calling you and come here to take away my life . After tonight . . .

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What to do and what to say ?

Outta my mind . I only pray at here and hoping everything will turn out right between us . Already been 2 days we didn't contact . Perhaps he prefer ignoring me . I didn't think too much . I didn't ignore , I got text him yesterday but he didn't reply me . I try to be patient like I always do . What I hate is when night come and time to sleep , heart start to beat more faster and the effect make chest pain . I'm depressed , that's why . I got try to calm down , indeed calm down but only awhile then here it happen again and again . I do eat , drink , sleep like I always do . I share my feeling and thought at blog . Everytime express , I start to cry and cry . Yes , i'm a cry baby . Nobody care right ? Maybe he don't need me , love me and care me anymore . This too hard for me . I can't get alive with this feeling . Yes , outside is still alive but not inside .

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Last breath on earth . He don't love or care me anymore .

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Since last night till now , haven't hear a word or receive a text from him .

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Cant. Sleep. Well.

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Scars .

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Dont. Feel. Very. Well.

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Flood with tears .

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Stuck in the mud .

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Un-smile , Un-laugh , Un-happy .

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Seem that he happy without me .

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What is happening in outta world ? Been so long stay in underground .

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Fix you by Coldplay .

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The Script - Breakeven .

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Falling into pieces . I took the pain . He took the happiness .

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Being curse to stay alone .

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Maybe he don't need me anymore .

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Offsense .

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Silent .

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Haven't text or call T.T

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Still haven't reply me or text me . Is he really meant it ?

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Is this the end ? I'm not sure , i'm still gasping for air . Out of me still alive but too bad in of me already die .

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One Day

One day, you can leave me behind.
One day, you run away from me.
One day, you will realize that i'm your soul mate for eternity.
One day, you will regret for not having me as your soul mate.
One day, you will realize that you are too late to have me as your soul mate.

Because i'm

Will not live for eternity at here,
Therefore find me before,
I go to beside God.



This wording I still remember in my mind because I create this when I was sixteen . My friend say , this wording the meaning so deep . I'm just like to create wording .

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Forcing laughter , faking smiles , lonely place .

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Cold came and the dark days fear crept into my mind .

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Send text or give a call if you still love me and care for me .

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That girl love you , do you realize about it ?

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Never end between us .

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Currently listening to That Woman .

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Sarang hae yo .

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Half dead life and heart .

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Ouch !

Am I silly or what . Eyes keep look all around while the brain think and think . Just stay in room after call from him . How to say , I do love him . For now , seem got big hole inside of it . What should I do to fix or heal it . Maybe because i'm too sensitive and hot temper . I try to control my temper but sometime got thing I can't control . I still like a kid because when got problem that I hardly can solve , I just stay at bed and cry out loud . Well , this is me . What you gonna do about it ? When just now mum talk to me , I barely answer because i'm too sad to answer . Sure he will say to me " Why you want to be sad and cry ? " I still can't get the right answer for that question . Yes , I love you and can't afford to lose you . I'm misarable until hardly can sleep . By the way is not your fault . I cry too hard , that's why I hardly can sleep . Do you still care for me ? Or love me ? Or miss me ?

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Bitter taste .

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Here I am , here I am , here I am .

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Here I go again and again and again be a cry baby .

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I'm too SCARE to LOSE .

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Misarable .

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Meet Domo and his Girlfriend .

If i curl my hair like this , what do you think ?

Birthstone

My Traditional Birthstone will be Opal and Aquamarine .

My Modern Birthstone will be Opal and Tourmaline .

My Mystical Birthstone will be Jasper .

My Ayurvedic Birthstone will be Opal .

Let's play survey

What is on your bed right now ?

- Pillow , teddy bears , blanket .

What's your favorite word or phrase ?

- Be the right one instead the perfect one .

Name 3 people who made you smile today ?

- Son son 

- Mom 

- Driving teacher .

What were you doing at 8 am this morning ?

- One last driving lesson .

What were you doing 30 minutes ago ?

- Checking FB and Mail .

Have you ever been to another country ?

- Singapore ;]

What is the last thing you said aloud ?

- ARGHHHHH !

What is the best ice cream flavor ?

- Chocolate , yum yum !

What was the last thing you had to drink ?

- Warm milk .

What are you wearing right now ?- Black tees and red short , hee :D
What was the last thing you ate ?

- Chicken curry with rice . 

Have you bought any new clothing items this week ?

- No , but i go written down what to buy but saving budget now .

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot ?

- Yes , kinda :]

What are you doing tomorrow ?

- Deja Vu , fetch grandma at airport . 

Look to your left, what do you see ?

- TV , cat statue . 

What color is your watch ?

- White indeed .

What do you think of when you think of Australia ?

- Koala bear !

Ever ridden on a roller coaster ?

- Haven't but someday will .

What is your birthstone ?

- Opal .

Last person you talked to on the phone ?

- Son son .

Any plans today ? - Deja Vu , at night attend class .
Last song listened to ?- Owl City - Rugs from me to you .
Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time ?- Flat shoes .
Is anyone jealous of you ?- I don't know ==?
Do you eat healthy ?- Half of me , half of me eat to gain weight .
What do you usually do during the day ?- Housework , texting , watch tv , eat , drink , bath , sleep , go class , fetch siblings .
How old will you be turning on your next birthday ?- Eighteen , i'm growing up .


-

Speak French

Je sais que ma tête dure comme une pierre, en fait ce que vous dites est le bon senscar, tôt ou tard nous serons rarement contact et peur de cette i. J'ai peur que rarementavec nous avec ou sans contact, nous faire éloignés les uns des autres, la distance etpeut-être notre sentiment trop. J'ai vraiment peur et ne savent pas ce que je dois faire.chaque fois que vous parler ou de parler à ce sujet, mon esprit direction directe perduet tout ce que je peux penser est peur de te perdre. Je ne peux pas se permettre devous perdre et vous tout pour moi. Je sais qu'un jour ou un jour nous serons confrontés àce genre de situation et que pour moi à peine à accepter la situation ou obtenir une utilisation avec elle le plus vite possible, je ne peux vraiment pas accepter le fait tous en une seule fois. Je ne sais pas ce que je voulais dire pour vous, mais ce que je sais, c'est je t'aime de tout mon cœur et vous aussi le sentiment de la même manière comme j'ai fait. Je sais que plus tard, vous la vie quotidienne sera occupé avec des chosesavantages et je vais essayer de comprendre votre situation. Quant à vous, vous aurezpeut-être utiliser pour cela mais comme pour moi dur et vous aussi me connaissentbien. Je ne vous blâme pas ou dire, c'est de votre faute. Qu'est-ce que vous avez faitdans votre vie, est bon pour vous et a obtenu des avantages. Si vous n'avez pas assez de temps pour le dépenser avec moi, j'essaie d'être compris. Mais l'abandonsentiment, sentiment de solitude, seul sentiment peut-être apparaîtra. Vous ne vous inquiétez pas trop sur moi.