Happily Never After

Hmm . . Where should i start ? Let's start from my life . Here goes my life like a ferris wheel , you know why ? Because my position of my life is a the lower of ferris wheel and i won't be higher any more . People keep tell me to fly or jump higher but i just can't , i already stuck at the basement . Maybe forever i guess . *sigh . After the black history , my life not great enough like i wanted to be . When i get a boyfriend , the relationship can't work out well . I just don't know what the problem but for sure my feeling just being play and fool easily . I think i kind of stupid for being fool and play . Am i stupid ? I don't know .  When i fall in love with someone , the someone already have a girlfriend or fall in love with other girl . That's kind of hurting me but i must get over it no matter what . Nobody truly understand what i feel , if is there someone understand what i truly feel , i will feel so glad but until now no one truly understand mu feeling even my family and friend didn't understand . I appreciate my family and my friend . As the result i make them happy all the time and when they feel blue i will try my best to comfort them . Sadly i only can make people i love and care happy but i can't make myself happy . Behind my smile no one understand . If there someone understand , show to me because i want to know . Even my condition like this , i need not sympathy from someone , i will never ask for sympathy because i am not like that .



Currently listening to Happily Never After by Nicole and Perfect Two by Auburn .

 

 
If could i want to fly away from my life . I suffer too much because few things is killing me deeply until i cry all night long . I can't go on anymore , I begging that take my pain and sickness away from me . When i cry so hard and too long i can't breath on my own but i being stubborn ( My Black Secret ) Every night i keep wishing toward the shinning star to give back my spirit to live happily again . I need someone that truly love me and truly can take care of me . My black history keep haunting me , that's why i stuck in my black history . I can't get out of my black history but for sure no one can save me anymore .I'm will flying solo into the sky .


P/s : Happy for those being perfect two .