Falling

Last night , he call me awhile and we start to text and the way we text is not like we usual to , in other meaning didn't LOL and etc . Last night text was real awkward and hurt because of that i cry all night long till now i still want to cry but i just hold my tears . I wish i won't face this kind situation but myself already know one day i will face this situation that i can't deny . I think the solution for this condition and i got it but i don't know how to tell him how it's work . Until now both of us still feel empty and don't know how to describe our feeling for now . The problem between is our different will be an obstacle and maybe will be family objection . This is real tough for us . In case i need to get hurt for the second time , i take decision to shut down my facebook , twitter and everything except my blog . I refer to stay in darkness where people can see my real faces and emotion . And now i already deep hurt , i fall too deep which i scare no one will catch me indeed no one will catch me . While i'm typing this story , i cry and cry , i just let my tears fall and no one will wipe my tears , is okay . Even now i use the hand plaster , plaster my heart and i know that won't heal my heart . I'm feel like dying people , i didn't eat well and drink well and last night i didn't sleep at all . I'm not torture myself . I'm taking decision may will lead to good for him and the decision that i only know . Adelson , i'm sorry for everything and for making my own decision . It may hurt myself but i don't care anymore . I'M SORRY .