Thinking

For the whole day i been thinking . What will he do after this . What he thinking right now . Which decision he will choose or made . In the same time i been waiting for his answer , and i also afraid . Currently i just listen to this two song Hyun Bin - That Man and 4Men ft Mi - Here I Am and sing my heart out . I'm still waiting for his text , wait patiently . Just now , glad got Yanie who accompany me and i can share with her and she keep give advice for me and i appreciate her for what had she done . At least i got someone to talk to , i been hold my tears from the whole day , i just can't hold it anymore but i can't show my sadness in front of my family . Now , i will fight for our love and i will try everything i could and if he still can't , i decide to let him go . And i know this real tough for me to do so , what for if he can't . I rather deep hurt and fall deep into the darkness . Now , what i eat or drink , i can't taste anymore . All i can feel is my heart , and me keep hit my chest and i feel my heart had been pull out of my chest . Did you know how hurt is that but silly me i don't mind at all . The more i say , the more i sad . People at outside see firework and i didn't go out and see . What for i go and see , i can't feel happiness anymore . All i feel is sadness and empty-ness . My face start to become pale , and inside of me is dying . I didn't take my medicine at all . I don't care anymore , all i care is him him him . Now it seem that , i'm no anybody for him anymore and i accept it because family do come first and i respect about that . Even he didn't tell me his answer yet , it's obvious that he forcing himself to leave me . Before he tell me the answer , better i'm the one let go and get lost . I almost reach at end , this mean is the end of me .
 Adelson if you reading this and your answer is not like what i said , do tell me because i'm still waiting .